There is no such thing as a normal sexual response. Everybody reacts differently, sexually speaking. There are as many different sexual responses as there are people on this big dumb planet. There is immeasurable variation in the way individual people enjoy and respond to sexual activity. Most sex that happens is, statistically, not very good.…
There’s no doubt this past year has brought about unexpected change for everyone, even in the bedroom. Whether you’ve been cooped up with your partner and having sex out of boredom, or home alone testing out virtual masturbation, this pandemic brought along an opportunity that showed us that sexual wellness is an important part of…
Queer sex therapist Casey Tanner took over LELO’s Instagram live to offer some amazing feedback on all sorts of topics—communication, boundary setting, PTSD, fetishes and more. Check out what she had to say about your questions! How do our bodies’ physical responses to sex encourage and/or limit our verbal communication? Our bodies are constantly communicating…
Since the approval in 1998 of Viagra, you’d be forgiven for suspecting that erectile dysfunction is the most prevalent sexual issue for men. But that’s simply not the case. Premature ejaculation far outstrips erectile dysfunction as the most common problem for men, when it comes to sex. What Causes Premature Ejaculation? Premature ejaculation is here…
To the average person, at first glance a Ben Wa Ball or Kegel Ball may leave you with a lot of questions. There’s no need to scratch your head, the functionality and purpose of Ben Wa Balls is actually quite simple-they’re mini intimacy trainers . They can be used during foreplay, for orgasm strength training,…
Recently, the U.S. Supreme Court clarified that people can’t be fired for being gay or transgender according to the 1964 Civil Rights Act. It ruled that LGBT+ people are protected from employment discrimination in the US. To most of us, it is the craziness that this happened as late as 2020. While I guess this…
Got a dirty mind? Got sex on the brain? Good for you, Einstein, because new research indicates that frequent sex, and the desire for it, can have a significant influence on our cognitive ability. Over the last decade, a growing body of research into human and animal behavior has been published indicating that the more…
Erectile dysfunction affects around 20% of men over 20 years of age – that’s around 20 million people. But, in a recent survey of men suffering from ED, half of them couldn’t name a single risk factor that might potentially cause or contribute to it. Despite how common it is, we as a society have…
I remember a study in 2016 that implied that many young men, after a decade of high-speed internet access, were experiencing erectile dysfunction as a result of the overuse of pornography. The study was featured in Time magazine, which quoted a number of such young men who claimed they “quit pornography to have more sex”,…
We know what you think, but we’ll stop you right there – you’re only half correct. Let us show you how going topless this summer can do more for you than just get rid of your tan lines. Ah, cleavage – it brings us such joy… Most of the time. Aside from being a source…
Many of us worry about the way our sexual desire fades as a relationship progresses. We’re usually aware of the honeymoon effect, and we expect that the beginning of a new relationship will be sexier and more passionate than the later stages, but regardless, we still wonder if the dip in sex drive is normal.…
Afterglow. It’s that warm, contented feeling most of us experience after sex as we lie panting, and recovering our breath. It’s generally one of the best features of sex, promoting intimacy and strengthening romantic bonds. But not for everyone. For some, even after great sex, the post-sex glow is tainted with feelings of negativity, self-doubt…
Surrendering to the call of our innermost desires is the collective pulse of our humanity. Those moments when we lose ourselves in time with our partner’s tempo transports us beyond ourselves. But when penetration hurts, the transcendent potential of sex eludes you. In those moments, the body is a betrayal. Everyone else seems to lap…
According to the immortal bard Billy S., alcohol provokes the desire, but takes away the performance. Any guy reading this knows precisely what Shakespeare’s talking about – because we’ve all been there. Imbibing too much booze truly amps up your sexual desires, but when the time comes to do the deed, your overindulgence can leave…
Sex is hard to qualify. What makes it good? And what makes great sex better than good sex? How do we measure it? Is it the overall amount of pleasure? Or the level of physical excitement? Or is it the strength of the emotional connection? How about the intensity of the orgasm? Or the general…
Science is important. Sex is important. We gathered the most recent compilation of research on the compelling and magical topic of… orgasms. Orgasm Equality: Scientific Findings and Societal Implications Current Sexual Health Reports, January 2020 Findings Less than 20% of females can orgasm from vaginal penetration alone Factors that contribute to the orgasm gap include…
Experience pain during sex regularly can be a major obstacle to the happy development of a relationship. The anxiety of chronic pain can trigger avoidance behaviour, leading us to dodge activity that might lead to sex, like kissing, touching, or intimacy in general. Even going to bed at the same time can fall away due…
If you follow this blog, you likely have already seen the wonderful pieces on the vagina vs. the vulva and/or on the clitoris . But I want to talk more about female genital anatomy, or the whole hooha in the all-together – clitoris, vulva, vagina, and linked uterus -, and about how that anatomy corresponds…
Sex is complicated. I often wonder if we knew that there were consequences up front, would we ever even bother with it at all? Some consequences are obvious: pregnancy, STIs, that kind of thing. But there’s a larger group of less commonly discussed after-effects that can undermine our sexual wellness, and because we don’t discuss…
Sex is great for just about everything. It can even make your hair glossier. But it can be hard work, and good sex requires at least some level of physicality. Today, we look at five ways exercise can benefit your sex life. Get some. Positive Body Image That moment, when you catch a reflection of…
The social pressure to conform to conventional standards, and the sense of being different from the rest of the multitude, are sources of considerable amounts of stress for many of us. Whether it’s ethnicity, gender, sexual identity, or any combination of these things, those of us who are categorized us ‘minorities’ often feel that pressure…
Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) like Prozac, Zoloft, Lexapro, and many others, are antidepressants that can help treat depression and anxiety. That’s good. They’re used by millions around the world, and they wouldn’t be prescribed if their effects weren’t generally positive. What’s more, the more they are used, the more they are studied, and the…
When we hear the word introvert, most of us imagine a person with robot-like social skills. Such extremes, however, are relatively rare, which is exactly what makes them extreme. In reality, there’s a continuous scale between absolute introversion and extroversion and almost all of us fall somewhere in between. Nevertheless, the fact that we gravitate…
A myth is a widely held but false belief. A vibrator is a motorised device used for sexual stimulation. Put them together, and you have a formula for trouble. Quite a lot of people believe some very strange things about sex toys, and when lots of people believe strange things, it rarely ends well. So…
Humans aren’t good at interpreting big numbers and large datasets. Our minds don’t compute large, diverse data sets on an individual basis. What we do, with everything, is group them together, and segment things, to make them easier to process on larger scales. We do it all the time, it’s how we’ve evolved to be…
Sexual relationships and intimacy are complicated. And when identity and sexual politics gets thrown into the mix, this can create an even more complex situation. Being communicative about a range of issues including sexual limits, identity politics, your STI and HIV status, and more can help create a safer and better sexual experience for all…
“Do not criticize autosexuality, it’s making love with someone you like,” Woody Allen (Annie Hall) Autosexual, in a nutshell, is when someone has sex with, and is sexually attracted, towards oneself. It’s a complex term, prompting a fair amount of questions and curiosities. For example: Does it entail a person thinking of themselves during self-love? …
Remember in school, when your trigonometry teacher would threaten you with, “Pay attention! You’re going to need this one day…”? Most of us never ended up dreading the day in our adult lives when trigonometry would pop out from behind some tree that was perfectly perpendicular to the ground. In fact, the only knowledge from…
After the unreal month dominated by the global pandemic, all of us are without a doubt craving for our lives to return to their normal state, but it is very likely the normal state of affairs will not be the same as before, and that includes our sex life. To begin with, the result depends…
Hi everyone, this is Dr. Zhana, professor of human sexuality in New York University and it’s time to answer some questions about sex and love in this very strange time of the Coronavirus pandemic and the life-saving requirements to physically distance from people. It’s a challenging time for pretty much everyone. It’s challenging for single…
Here in the western world, we generally only pursue three approaches to sexual health and sex therapy: psychological, education, and medication. The psychological approach emphasises counselling to improves the whole gamut of the relationship. Education seeks to correct sexual misconceptions and encourage whole-body sensuality. And the medical aspect tries to correct things like erectile dysfunction…
Fact: we’re having sex earlier and getting married older. That means there are more years between adolescence and commitment for most of us, leaving more time for sexual adventure and casual hook-ups. Like it or loathe it, that’s the way of the world we live in. We are a reckless and hedonistic generation, and the…
You might have seen the word ‘sapiosexual’ popping up on people’s dating profiles. Perhaps you’ve used it yourself in yours. It’s kinda trendy at the moment, so we want to take a little look under the hood at what’s going on. What is sapiosexuality, is it real, and why are we attracted to intelligence? There…
It’s kinda hard to #ComeTogether when we’re supposed to remain six feet apart. That’s why, this year, LELO is using Pride month to focus on the power of community! And, luckily for us, there are so many role models that have walked this path before us that we can learn from—regardless of our sexual orientation.…
We live in unprecedented times. We’re going through a seismic cultural shift, and when this wave of Covid-19 has passed, or become manageable, things will likely never be quite the same again. We’re in the contradictory position of trying to fix something together by staying apart. The coronavirus pandemic has resulted in most of us…
Female pleasure isn’t complicated, but it can be complex. Which is probably why there are so many Google searches about this topic. We reached out to one of our favorite psychologists, Dr. Zhana, to help us answer the most frequently asked questions surrounding female pleasure. What would you like to know about female pleasure? Hi…
Phthalates. Easy to understand, hard to spell. And Read. And say without spitting everywhere. If it helps, you can just drop the initial ph- when you’re saying it and everyone will still know what you mean. We’re not fussy about the word, we’re fussy about all that it entails. That’s because phthalates have been linked…
By now, most of us have been impacted in one way or another by the coronavirus, and the disease it causes, COVID-19. Either we’re working from home, we’re in isolation or quarantine, we know someone who’s had it, or we’ve had it, or a million other ways that this thing is reshaping society. With all…
It’s easy to assume that men and women think about sex differently. But is that really the case? As it turns out, no it’s not the case. Or at least, it’s not the full story. There are differences. For example, whether gay, bi, or straight, men tend to respond automatically to specific body parts they…
What do we really know about male ejaculation? Sure, we’ve heard the expression, “I’m gonna come!” in movies and TV shows, and perhaps we’ve even heard it in real life (or something more like “Are you on the pill?” before they let rip. We also know that there’s sperm in semen … you know, the…
This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. Our lives are currently a contradiction of fears and anxieties like most of us have never experienced before. Fear about an invisible contagion that can be carried and transferred by strangers without their knowledge, and anxiety caused by having to isolate ourselves in…
We’re saturated by the thought that men are obsessed with how their penises are perceived. Penis jokes have entered our daily vocabularies. I only have to say ‘size matters’ and, by some magic process of osmosis, we all know I’m talking about dicks. One of the most popular articles on this very blog is about…
Taste is arguably the most intimate of the five senses. Think about it—on any given day, we see so many people, we hear so many people, we (unfortunately) smell so many people, and even touch multiple people. We are so constantly bombarded by these sensory interactions—the multitude of faces encountered, the tone of that lady…
This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. Sarcasm aside, we invite everyone with female genitalia to take a sec and reevaluate their vocabulary when it comes to naming their bits. Even seemingly minor things such as names (although names are definitely not a small deal) deeply influence how the female…
While foreplay, dirty talk, fornication, and sensual toys are sexy, the spread of STI’s and HIV is not. So, without trying to be a boner killer, the use of condoms is a conversation that simply needs to be had. Why? Because with them, we can all enjoy near risk-free sex which is the ultimate goal…
It’s 2020 and how the world has changed! By now you are likely on some level of self-isolation, if not full-on “shelter-in-place” lockdown. Panic and doom dominate the headlines. Uncertainty rules. And the health news is focused on how to stave off the virus. But I’m here to share the good news. There is a…
Know the feeling when you have an itch in a hard-to-reach spot on your back, and you try everything within your power to relieve it? This involves rubbing the spot vigorously against a wall, grabbing a long stick of some sort, or even asking someone to help you out. And when you finally do rid…
The current situation is enough to make anyone go crazy. Whether you’re cooped up in your home, at work during these trying times, or have been affected personally with the CoronaVirus pandemic, it’s fair to say that almost everyone, worldwide, is feeling the pinch, devastation, and frustration. And for couples who have decided to self-isolate,…
The single biggest obstacle people face in the bedroom is being too much in their heads — because that’s what’s behind basically every other sexual issue. If you’re thinking or worrying during sex, this can lead to difficulty getting aroused, orgasming , and truly connecting with your partner. If this is an issue you’ve been…
I recently came across a kink known as somnophillia, or sleep kink. I’ve written extensively about all kinds of kinks in the past, there isn’t a lot left out there that shocks me. Or makes me feel uncomfortable. But this kink seemed different. Somnophillia is a kink for a sleeping partner, or for somebody having…