The second episode of our pleasure podcasts takes around the globe to discuss the effects of the ongoing pandemic of human relationships. How has the prolonged time spent together influenced couples? How has the dating scene changed? Or how to deal with the psychological impacts of lockdown? These and many more questions form the basis…
Healthy Relationship
Sexual Boundaries and Saying “No:” What You Need to Know
In a culture that applauds people for being as easygoing as possible, it can feel hard to speak up and state our boundaries. Even in the wake of the “Me Too” movement and a shifting dialogue about what consent actually is, putting that boundary talk into practice is a whole other issue that many folks…
Sex After Kids: How To Rekindle the Flame in the Bedroom After Kids
Many couples suffer from having less sex after having kids. One of the latest Netflix shows, Sex/life, explores the life of a woman who had lost part of herself after getting married and having children and whose husband doesn’t seem to see her as a sexual being anymore. Our heroine, Billie, used to lead a…
Compersion: The #1 Way to Succeed in Polyamory
Polyamory has as many perks as a garden’s got roses, and smells just as sweet. All that community, camaraderie, and abundant communication, plus a whole spate of sweet humans in your life who love you – and not to mention that ever-evolving sex life. Is there anything better? Looking at it from the outside, opening…
Aftercare for Vanilla Sex: Why It’s Important and How To Do It Right
Anyone who had dabbled in some BDSM play knows the term “aftercare” well. It’s always repeated over and over again whenever you’re looking for tips on how to start with BDSM. Somehow, people often think that aftercare after vanilla sex, when no whips and chains were involved, is not needed. Like, if you’re having sex…
The Science Behind Infidelity and Why People Cheat
Almost half of couples have dealt with or experienced infidelity in marriage. In the US, infidelity is the second leading cause of many divorces. What’s also interesting is that the majority of people, even those who cheat on their significant others, tend to believe that infidelity is wrong. Yet people don’t seem to be having…
Self-Pleasure Is the Key to a Better Partnered Sex
Being single usually has a fairly sad undertone for many people. Movies and media had shaped a certain image of how the life of single people looks like, with tons of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream or endless booze on Friday nights and questionable sex life. But in real life, being single doesn’t have to…
Five Different Love Languages, Five Different Ways To Please Your Partner
When Dr. Gary Chapman wrote his book The Five Love Languages over 30 years ago, he probably didn’t think it will become an essential part of every couple’s life. Truly, learning your and your partner’s love languages is the best way to find common ground and communicate your needs within the relationship. Gary Chapman described…
How To Love Unconditionally: A Global Love Day Lesson
Unconditional love is hard to explain. Applying it to ourselves is sometimes even more difficult. That’s why this Global Love Day is inspired by the phrase “Love begins with me.” Our self-love is often buried beneath layers of trauma, guilt and pain, which makes it easy to overlook the fact that love is always present.…
Want to Boost Your Mood? Research Says Have Happy Sex
March 20th marks International Day of Happiness, and we’re dedicating the latest research to sex and happiness, that is, why sex makes us feel good and what we can do to have sex that makes us happy. What Does Sex Mean? We may ask ourselves, what does sex mean to a woman? What does sex…
Are You In Love? 7 Signs
You might think that people who are truly in love automatically know the answer to this question, with no doubt in their minds—and a lucky few do, but for many, this generally isn’t the case. People vary in the extent to which they know and can distinguish between their own emotions. This puts us in…
When is National Hugging Day and How Many Hugs Do We Need a Day?
When is National Hugging Day? National Hugging Day falls on January 21 and is dedicated to encourage people to hug (with consent as not to breach their personal space). Why Do People Hug? Hugs can be a powerful tool to express support and comfort. Not only do they have mental benefits, but can improve physical…
Using Sex Toys During Partnered Sex—Q&A with Sex Therapist Casey Tanner
Introducing anything new into the bedroom (or wherever you’re getting it on) can be nerve-racking as it is, especially when it comes to the stigmas so closely tied to sex toys. We’re here to clear the air and offer some tips for communicating new desires with a partner who may not recognize the potential to…
Can You be Addicted to Love?
Romantic love has often been considered a type of addiction or even sickness. There is no doubt that love involves constant thinking about, and activities with, one’s beloved. But is such persistent preoccupation with one person always detrimental? Should it be regarded as a type of addiction, or might it actually be beneficial to the…
When We’re in Love, But Not with Sex
While problems with our sex life can certainly have a negative influence on our romantic relationships, there are many of us who report having low sexual desire yet are still deeply in love with our partners. How do we navigate loving relationships when we don’t really love having sex? In a new study published in…
What’s Your Number? Most People Lie About How Many People They’ve Had Sex With
A third of Americans have lied to a significant other about their number of sexual partners, according to new research. A study of 2,000 Americans who’ve had sex revealed that of those who’ve fibbed their number (32%), 42% were men and 23% were women. Now that we know that a whopping third of us are…
Is a Female-Led Relationship (FLR) Right for You?
Every single relationship is unique – that’s what makes love so fantastic. Power dynamics, our little shared quirks, the way we approach our love – no two couples are identical when we slice apart how they function. Some love a balance in power, others like when the scales tip in one direction or the other…
Strengthen Your Relationship with These 5 Love Languages
While no two couples are the same, there are a few tips and tricks that can definitely make a difference when it comes to having a stronger relationship. And according to Gary Chapman, a doctor of philosophy, counselor, and author, the key to having a lasting relationship is to know, and make use of, the…
Using Mindfulness to Strengthen Your Relationship
Mindfulness is the state of being conscious or aware of something. It’s the ability to actively live in the present moment, being able to accept and acknowledge one’s own feelings, thoughts, and body in such a way that it induces relaxation and creates awareness without being overwhelmed. And while this therapeutic technique is self-focused, it…
Quotes About Love
Love is a notoriously difficult concept to pin down. What is it? Is it real? Is it measurable? How do we express it? How does it manifest itself? Why does it hurt sometimes? At LELO, we think we have a pretty good grip on what love is, and how it feels. But there have been…
Letting Go of Resentment—A Kiss & Make Up Day Challenge
In reality, letting go of resentment or working on reconciling a relationship should happen as soon as the thought pops into your head, but maybe Kiss & Make Up Day on August 25 is just the reminder you needed. We’re going to cover what resentment is, acceptance of what happened, and letting go of it…
How to Soothe a Jealous Partner (And Is It Your Job?)
Jealousy is the common cold of relationships. Universally dreaded, it’s able to strike anyone at any time—usually unexpectedly, under the least convenient circumstances. And, much like the common cold, while anecdotal remedies abound, no single cure seems to work exactly as expected, every time. Worst of all, no type of person or partnership is immune…
Painful Penetration – What You Need To Know
Surrendering to the call of our innermost desires is the collective pulse of our humanity. Those moments when we lose ourselves in time with our partner’s tempo transports us beyond ourselves. But when penetration hurts, the transcendent potential of sex eludes you. In those moments, the body is a betrayal. Everyone else seems to lap…
The Most Common Issues Faced by Gay Couples – Guest Post by Michael Moran
As an openly gay therapist who specializes at the intersection of couples and sex therapy, a large number of the clients I see are also gay. And one of the dynamics I often bump up against with these clients in particular is the gap between sexual and relational compatibility . Meaning that while a person…
5 Changes To Become More Magnetic
What we find attractive changes from person to person. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all. But attraction is not based solely on beauty, and there are commonalities that we look for in partners, and that partners look for in us. These are five intangible things you can do today to enhance…
What is an Apartnership and Can it Save Your Marriage?
When we think of marriage, we generally think of two people dedicating themselves to the commitment to each other for life. But is that really the way it’s supposed to be? Marriages and relationships haven’t always looked like this. In the past, and to this day in some cultures, marriage looks entirely different, sometimes with…
I Choose Me: The Case for Sologamy
Alright, alright. I can already hear it: not the wedding bells for the next solo wedding, but the heckling. It’s coming from the comments section, and from trolls on social media. Sologamy, the art of marrying yourself, has long been the butt of many an anti-feminist joke. But if you can, just hear me out.…
The 9 Tips of Being a Better Partner
Let’s be honest here: when it comes to relationships, long-term can be tough. According to Statista , the marriage rate per thousand people in the U.S. in 2019 was 6.9, a major drop from 9.8 in the 90s. You may be thinking, “Okay, that’s because people are busier, smarter, and have less societal or family…
Social Distancing 101: How to Avoid Cabin Fever with Your Partner
This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. By now we’re certain you’ve come across a multitude of articles on how to stay busy and stressless during this period of self isolation. DIY, spring cleaning, quarantine sex tips —sound familiar? The truth is, a majority of people don’t live alone! Which…
Communication As A Tool For Better Sex
The thing that everyone wants to know the answer to, is how to have great sex . Not just as a one off or occasionally, but consistently. Just type into your search bar ‘How to have a good sex life’ and Google tells me that it has “About 2,680,000,000 results (0.73 seconds)”. That means that…
Things I’d Tell a Younger Me About Sex & Romance
I’m 35 years old and I work in the creative industry. What I mean to say is that on any given day, I am usually the oldest person in the room; I share office space and work very closely with people 15 years my junior and it definitely makes me feel my age to hear…
3 Ways To Spot If A New Partner Will Cheat
The early stages of a new relationship are a fizzy, roiling broth of confusing feelings. One of them that commonly bubbles to the surface is doubt . Amongst the excitement, lust, longing, and all the other positive sensations of a burgeoning relationship, there’s also sometimes an expectation that we will be cheated on, and that…
Eight Things That Ruin Our Sex Lives
We’re complex creatures. But we tend to become entirely enigmatic in issues of our sexualities. It seems to me that, even in a healthy relationship, our relationship is confused by a poor understanding and a lack of honesty about our sexualities. We lack awareness of our own sexualities, and that of our partners. We just…
How Can You Spot A Partner That is Losing Interest?
Did you know that the word ‘honeymoon’ actually holds a negative connotation? In short, the word represents the moon which is ever-changing. It basically suggests that newly weds will experience bliss after their wedding, but just like the moon, their relationship will inevitably change. And this is true of new relationships too. When you start…
How to Turn Casual Dating into a Serious Relationship
A whirlwind romance definitely comes with its perks. A no-strings-attached confidence boost that sends you springing down the street with a big, fat smile on your face? Yeah, that does sound like a treat, doesn’t it? But life doesn’t always go the way you planned… What happens when the whole ‘casual dating’ thing appears to…
How Stress Affects Your Sex Life, and What You Can Do About It
As we’ve covered so extensively here before, sex and pleasure are very beneficial to your mental as well as your physical wellbeing . Sex, with its rush of endorphins and other happy brain chemicals – not to mention the exercise you get – is a great way to relieve stress. And it’s true, sex can…
No Taboos Here – Behind The Doors Of Psychosexual Therapy
Being a Psychosexual Therapist, or Sex Therapist is less scandalous than the title would indicate. In the way that I see it, it’s the art of having open conversations and solving challenges around sex. The reasons that people attend psychosexual therapy are as varied as we all are individual; and really it’s about anything to…
Sex Mistakes You’re Probably Making (And How to Avoid Them)
Just a simple disclaimer before we get started here: this is not a list of the best blowjob techniques or nifty new sex positions to try (although if that’s what you want, you will definitely find what you’re looking for on this very blog). What we’re covering in today’s article is all the things that…
How to Deal with Doubt in a Relationship
Whether you’ve been dating for five weeks or going steady for five years, doubt within a relationship (and life in general) is normal. There are a number of different reasons as to why you’re feeling doubtful. Sometimes it’s absolutely called for, and other times it may just be completely irrational. There’s a fine line between…
Making Love vs. Having Sex: An Inside Look at Romantic Sex
As humans we automatically assign meaning to nearly everything… especially those who are prone to over analyzing. And for the most part, this is a fair way to live, as the way in which things are said, done, and shown can have different intentions. Take a hug, for example. It’s a universal symbol of comfort,…
The Secrets to Rekindling a Relationship with Your Ex
Isn’t it funny that, so often, people tend to harbor intense negative feelings towards an ex? Even though at one point they may have seen them as the centre of their universe? A person that you perhaps once thought was ‘the one’ is now someone that you simply cannot stand. But as they say, time…
Hate Being Single? Oh, Darling… You Actually Have it All!
For ever and a day, we’ve been socialised to believe that true happiness comes when it’s shared… with a romantic partner. All romantic comedies and fairytale storybooks say so, so it has to be true, right? But all jokes aside, our bodies are even built in such a way to support and encourage finding a…
What do People REALLY Have Against Same-Sex Marriage?
Last week, an interracial couple were refused a wedding by an events company in a Southern US state. This comes on the back of increasing recent coverage featuring gay and queer couples who have been turned away for everything from hotels to birthday and wedding cakes by business owners claiming that their faith, or their…
I Found My Housemate’s Sex Toys In The Living Room – What Do I Do?
The following question came to my attention recently. It takes a little deconstruction. I just moved into a new shared house on a six-month contract with another girl. On my first day, there was a sex toy on the coffee table in the living room. I don’t know her very well yet, but if I’m…
11 Adult Sex Games for Kinky Couples
Unbeknownst to many, games are not solely for kids. In fact, there are several games that adults find equally as thrilling. They could be as innocent as the girl next door, you know, like Twister or Monopoly. Or, they could have an element of naughtiness to them. But did you know that if you throw…
The Bare Necessities: Why Everyone Should Try Skinny Dipping at Least Once
For many, being naked is something strictly for the bedroom, or when they’re alone in the shower. And sure, it’s definitely not kosher to roam the streets sans clothing. But when it comes to skinny dipping, different rules apply. And that’s a good thing! Why? Well, not only is it a bit of fun, but…
According to Science: Does He Like You? Take Our Quiz and Find Out
Some things in life are more easy than others. Take 1 + 1 for example. The answer is 2. You just can’t argue with that. But when it comes to matters of the heart, things become a whole lot trickier. And this isn’t news. You’re not the only one who has endured sleepless nights-on-end wondering,…