You might think that people who are truly in love automatically know the answer to this question, with no doubt in their minds—and a lucky few do, but for many, this generally isn’t the case. People vary in the extent to which they know and can distinguish between their own emotions. This puts us in…
When is National Hugging Day? National Hugging Day falls on January 21 and is dedicated to encourage people to hug (with consent as not to breach their personal space). Why Do People Hug? Hugs can be a powerful tool to express support and comfort. Not only do they have mental benefits, but can improve physical…
Introducing anything new into the bedroom (or wherever you’re getting it on) can be nerve-racking as it is, especially when it comes to the stigmas so closely tied to sex toys. We’re here to clear the air and offer some tips for communicating new desires with a partner who may not recognize the potential to…
Romantic love has often been considered a type of addiction or even sickness. There is no doubt that love involves constant thinking about, and activities with, one’s beloved. But is such persistent preoccupation with one person always detrimental? Should it be regarded as a type of addiction, or might it actually be beneficial to the…
While problems with our sex life can certainly have a negative influence on our romantic relationships, there are many of us who report having low sexual desire yet are still deeply in love with our partners. How do we navigate loving relationships when we don’t really love having sex? In a new study published in…
A third of Americans have lied to a significant other about their number of sexual partners, according to new research. A study of 2,000 Americans who’ve had sex revealed that of those who’ve fibbed their number (32%), 42% were men and 23% were women. Now that we know that a whopping third of us are…
Every single relationship is unique – that’s what makes love so fantastic. Power dynamics, our little shared quirks, the way we approach our love – no two couples are identical when we slice apart how they function. Some love a balance in power, others like when the scales tip in one direction or the other…
While no two couples are the same, there are a few tips and tricks that can definitely make a difference when it comes to having a stronger relationship. And according to Gary Chapman, a doctor of philosophy, counselor, and author, the key to having a lasting relationship is to know, and make use of, the…
Mindfulness is the state of being conscious or aware of something. It’s the ability to actively live in the present moment, being able to accept and acknowledge one’s own feelings, thoughts, and body in such a way that it induces relaxation and creates awareness without being overwhelmed. And while this therapeutic technique is self-focused, it…
Love is a notoriously difficult concept to pin down. What is it? Is it real? Is it measurable? How do we express it? How does it manifest itself? Why does it hurt sometimes? At LELO, we think we have a pretty good grip on what love is, and how it feels. But there have been…
In reality, letting go of resentment or working on reconciling a relationship should happen as soon as the thought pops into your head, but maybe Kiss & Make Up Day on August 25 is just the reminder you needed. We’re going to cover what resentment is, acceptance of what happened, and letting go of it…
Jealousy is the common cold of relationships. Universally dreaded, it’s able to strike anyone at any time—usually unexpectedly, under the least convenient circumstances. And, much like the common cold, while anecdotal remedies abound, no single cure seems to work exactly as expected, every time. Worst of all, no type of person or partnership is immune…
Surrendering to the call of our innermost desires is the collective pulse of our humanity. Those moments when we lose ourselves in time with our partner’s tempo transports us beyond ourselves. But when penetration hurts, the transcendent potential of sex eludes you. In those moments, the body is a betrayal. Everyone else seems to lap…
As an openly gay therapist who specializes at the intersection of couples and sex therapy, a large number of the clients I see are also gay. And one of the dynamics I often bump up against with these clients in particular is the gap between sexual and relational compatibility . Meaning that while a person…
What we find attractive changes from person to person. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all. But attraction is not based solely on beauty, and there are commonalities that we look for in partners, and that partners look for in us. These are five intangible things you can do today to enhance…
When we think of marriage, we generally think of two people dedicating themselves to the commitment to each other for life. But is that really the way it’s supposed to be? Marriages and relationships haven’t always looked like this. In the past, and to this day in some cultures, marriage looks entirely different, sometimes with…
Alright, alright. I can already hear it: not the wedding bells for the next solo wedding, but the heckling. It’s coming from the comments section, and from trolls on social media. Sologamy, the art of marrying yourself, has long been the butt of many an anti-feminist joke. But if you can, just hear me out.…
Let’s be honest here: when it comes to relationships, long-term can be tough. According to Statista , the marriage rate per thousand people in the U.S. in 2019 was 6.9, a major drop from 9.8 in the 90s. You may be thinking, “Okay, that’s because people are busier, smarter, and have less societal or family…
This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. By now we’re certain you’ve come across a multitude of articles on how to stay busy and stressless during this period of self isolation. DIY, spring cleaning, quarantine sex tips —sound familiar? The truth is, a majority of people don’t live alone! Which…
The thing that everyone wants to know the answer to, is how to have great sex . Not just as a one off or occasionally, but consistently. Just type into your search bar ‘How to have a good sex life’ and Google tells me that it has “About 2,680,000,000 results (0.73 seconds)”. That means that…
I’m 35 years old and I work in the creative industry. What I mean to say is that on any given day, I am usually the oldest person in the room; I share office space and work very closely with people 15 years my junior and it definitely makes me feel my age to hear…
The early stages of a new relationship are a fizzy, roiling broth of confusing feelings. One of them that commonly bubbles to the surface is doubt . Amongst the excitement, lust, longing, and all the other positive sensations of a burgeoning relationship, there’s also sometimes an expectation that we will be cheated on, and that…
We’re complex creatures. But we tend to become entirely enigmatic in issues of our sexualities. It seems to me that, even in a healthy relationship, our relationship is confused by a poor understanding and a lack of honesty about our sexualities. We lack awareness of our own sexualities, and that of our partners. We just…
Did you know that the word ‘honeymoon’ actually holds a negative connotation? In short, the word represents the moon which is ever-changing. It basically suggests that newly weds will experience bliss after their wedding, but just like the moon, their relationship will inevitably change. And this is true of new relationships too. When you start…
A whirlwind romance definitely comes with its perks. A no-strings-attached confidence boost that sends you springing down the street with a big, fat smile on your face? Yeah, that does sound like a treat, doesn’t it? But life doesn’t always go the way you planned… What happens when the whole ‘casual dating’ thing appears to…
As we’ve covered so extensively here before, sex and pleasure are very beneficial to your mental as well as your physical wellbeing . Sex, with its rush of endorphins and other happy brain chemicals – not to mention the exercise you get – is a great way to relieve stress. And it’s true, sex can…
Being a Psychosexual Therapist, or Sex Therapist is less scandalous than the title would indicate. In the way that I see it, it’s the art of having open conversations and solving challenges around sex. The reasons that people attend psychosexual therapy are as varied as we all are individual; and really it’s about anything to…
Just a simple disclaimer before we get started here: this is not a list of the best blowjob techniques or nifty new sex positions to try (although if that’s what you want, you will definitely find what you’re looking for on this very blog). What we’re covering in today’s article is all the things that…
Whether you’ve been dating for five weeks or going steady for five years, doubt within a relationship (and life in general) is normal. There are a number of different reasons as to why you’re feeling doubtful. Sometimes it’s absolutely called for, and other times it may just be completely irrational. There’s a fine line between…
As humans we automatically assign meaning to nearly everything… especially those who are prone to over analyzing. And for the most part, this is a fair way to live, as the way in which things are said, done, and shown can have different intentions. Take a hug, for example. It’s a universal symbol of comfort,…
Isn’t it funny that, so often, people tend to harbor intense negative feelings towards an ex? Even though at one point they may have seen them as the centre of their universe? A person that you perhaps once thought was ‘the one’ is now someone that you simply cannot stand. But as they say, time…
For ever and a day, we’ve been socialised to believe that true happiness comes when it’s shared… with a romantic partner. All romantic comedies and fairytale storybooks say so, so it has to be true, right? But all jokes aside, our bodies are even built in such a way to support and encourage finding a…
Last week, an interracial couple were refused a wedding by an events company in a Southern US state. This comes on the back of increasing recent coverage featuring gay and queer couples who have been turned away for everything from hotels to birthday and wedding cakes by business owners claiming that their faith, or their…
The following question came to my attention recently. It takes a little deconstruction. I just moved into a new shared house on a six-month contract with another girl. On my first day, there was a sex toy on the coffee table in the living room. I don’t know her very well yet, but if I’m…
Unbeknownst to many, games are not solely for kids. In fact, there are several games that adults find equally as thrilling. They could be as innocent as the girl next door, you know, like Twister or Monopoly. Or, they could have an element of naughtiness to them. But did you know that if you throw…
For many, being naked is something strictly for the bedroom, or when they’re alone in the shower. And sure, it’s definitely not kosher to roam the streets sans clothing. But when it comes to skinny dipping, different rules apply. And that’s a good thing! Why? Well, not only is it a bit of fun, but…
Some things in life are more easy than others. Take 1 + 1 for example. The answer is 2. You just can’t argue with that. But when it comes to matters of the heart, things become a whole lot trickier. And this isn’t news. You’re not the only one who has endured sleepless nights-on-end wondering,…