This article was written by Social Psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller. Sex and disability is a topic that is not often discussed. It is rarely—if ever—addressed in sex education courses, and few doctors are comfortable talking about sexual issues with disabled patients. Part of the reason for this is because disabled persons are often stereotyped as…
This article was scientifically fact-checked and written by Social Psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller. What’s the first image that comes to mind when you hear the term “attention deficit hyperactivity disorder” (ADHD)? Odds are, you’re probably imagining a kid who is hyperactive or has trouble focusing in school. However, ADHD isn’t just for kids—it affects adults,…
If you think having sex once a week (or month, or year) is enough, think again. Forget treating the Big O like a rare occasion that calls for taking out your grandma’s china. Sex is something that should be on your menu as often as you dang well please – and if you’re holding back…
Being fit takes you a long way in terms of sexual performance, but not every exercise is the same. Some types will do a much better job preparing you for sexual mastery. Fit for Sex One of the most obvious signs that you need to improve your fitness is feeling shortness of breath. Also, you…
It’s a question for the ages, one that scholars and philosophers alike have scratched their heads over. Likely, one day in ancient Greece, even Socrates and Plato himself looked down in the shower and pondered ‘what the hell do I have these things for, anyways?’ Of course, ‘these things’ that he was wondering about are…
You pick up your phone in the morning, only to be surprised by an unsolicited, sexually explicit photo in your inbox. Unprepared for the visual, it takes you a minute to recognize the return address as someone you recently met on an online dating site, who has shamelessly sent you the photo using their own…
This article was scientifically fact-checked and written by Social Psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller. People have a tendency to look at orgasm as the ultimate goal of sex, an idea that sex therapists refer to as the orgasmic imperative. From this perspective, sex isn’t really sex unless an orgasm happens, which leads people to approach sex…
A lot of what we have learned about how our brain controls our sex lives comes from research done on animals, typically rodents and small mammals. Although the use of animal models is obviously limited given the significant differences between animal and human sexuality, there is a relationship between the particular brain regions implicated in…
Oh hey there mama’s-to-be or friends and family of a soon-to-be mom! Today we’re going to be talking about using a vibrator during pregnancy… in the ins and outs, is it safe, is it encouraged, or is it a big no-no? Of course, we’re looking at giving you sound advice that includes satisfying any carnal…
Romantic love has often been considered a type of addiction or even sickness. There is no doubt that love involves constant thinking about, and activities with, one’s beloved. But is such persistent preoccupation with one person always detrimental? Should it be regarded as a type of addiction, or might it actually be beneficial to the…
This article was scientifically fact-checked by Social Psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller. In women, the G-spot is an area that, when stimulated, often leads to very intense orgasms. Much has been said and written about the G-spot, and there’s still some debate about what exactly it is, but research suggests that, rather than being a distinct…
When it comes to sex and mating, what do you find attractive? As Daniel Conroy-Beam puts it, “All humans have a psychology of short-term and long-term of mating,” and some researchers in the field of evolutionary psychology study this issue in a variety of creative ways. Attraction is an incredibly personal issue. Even though there…
The holiday season is here and it’s time to talk about self-love during the holidays! I got some really interesting questions. Let’s start at the beginning: What is self-love? What is self love and how to express that? I define self-love as virtually any act that you do for yourself, to show to yourself that…
Dreaming of a white Christmas? Oh, how lucky for you! So unbothered and untouched by the world! I think most of us would be able to accept a couple of green patches peeking out through the snow in exchange for a smooth, stress-free holidays. It’s a real shame that the ‘most wonderful time of the…
How do we know for sure if someone sees us as especially attractive and a potential partner? And how do we let others know if we find them equally attractive , or simply see them as friends? One way is by recognizing flirtatious facial expressions, according to a study published in a September 2020 issue…
While problems with our sex life can certainly have a negative influence on our romantic relationships, there are many of us who report having low sexual desire yet are still deeply in love with our partners. How do we navigate loving relationships when we don’t really love having sex? In a new study published in…
Taking control of the holidays is no easy feat. A popular misconception that has been debunked in recent years is the false connection between increased suicide and winter months (there’s actually a spike in the Spring), but things like seasonal affective disorder , failed expectations, and loneliness still weigh heavy amongst a lot of people…
For some people, sex and intimacy is a way in which to get rid of any dating jitters or awkwardness. And while it may seem kind of like putting the cart before the horse, the act of sex and engaging in pillow talk could actually create a meaningful emotional bond between two people. This is…
Hi everyone, this is Dr. Zhana and I am so excited about our Q&A today on the topic of anal play. And apparently so are you, because I received more questions on this topic than any other topic I’ve ever done! So let’s go! Q: Can it be pleasurable for women? Let’s start with a…
Men tend to overestimate the size of their penis, according to British psychiatrist David Veale. Even so, they worry that they’re below-average. Veale and his team decided to get accurate measurements. Their study pulls together data on 15,521 men from around the world. The magic numbers? The researchers concluded that the average flaccid penis is…
We put a lot of stock in kissing. For most of us, it’s our first experience with romance and intimacy, and it can quickly tell us a lot about the qualities of a potential partner. Below, we look at five facts we can learn about kissing to make it all better. 1. Not everyone loves…
Oftentimes we look to a woman’s breasts as a sexual part of the body, forgetting that the nipples are too a source of nourishment for offspring. Big, full breasts and hard nipples have the ability to drive people wild, while some women can even climax from nipple stimulation alone. Basically, a woman’s nipples are wondrous…
Psychologists are genuinely divided over the function and meaning of dreaming. Some psychologists think that dreams are nothing more than the result of random brain activity that occurs while we are sleeping, while others accept the perspective of people such as Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung that dreams can reveal a person’s deepest unconscious wishes…
Are you primarily attracted to men, women, both, or neither? Fascinating research shows that we may not consciously realize who attracts us. While straight and gay men seem to accurately detect their sexual attraction toward women and men, it appears that straight women and lesbians may not. Researchers Chivers et al. (2004) presented straight men…
One of the hardest aspects of ending a romantic relationship or marriage is listening to others tell you what you need to do. Many people don’t know what to say or how to comfort you, or they take on the responsibility of “fixing” you and your situation. In reality, all you really want (and need)…
Who in their right mind would take part in No Nut November? We’ll tell you. What is No Nut November? No, No Nut November is not to raise awareness for nut allergies. It’s a month-long celebration without “nutting”, or ejaculating in any form of way. Not only are you not allowed to ejaculate, you must…
Far too often we talk about sex as simply a physical act. A way to scratch an itch, “get off,” or release some building sexual tension. But, of course, sex can be so much more than that. In the context of a consensual partnership, sex can be a way to experience closeness and connection, a…
Becoming a parent can add a lot of joy, love, and excitement to your life, but it’s not without some personal costs and challenges. As parents begin to shift their time and attention away from each other and toward their children, they often find it difficult to maintain a healthy intimate life. Indeed, research has…
We’ll skip the fluff. Sex therapist Casey Tanner joined us to answer the most frequently asked questions about rabbit vibrators. Discover how they work and if they’d be a great fit for you. Q: What are they, and how do they work? Rabbit vibrators get their name from their shape, as they typically have two…
The thought of crying after sex may seem daunting, embarassing, or just plain weird to a lot of folk. But in actuality, it’s more common than you may think! In fact, it’s perfectly natural to cry after sex… for a number of reasons! But before we dive into them, let’s discuss the ins and outs…
If someone has an orgasm during consensual sex, people generally assume that the sex must have been good. However, in a recent study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, researchers found that consensual sex can be bad even when orgasm occurs. They called these kinds of experiences “bad orgasm experiences.” More specifically, the study…
A third of Americans have lied to a significant other about their number of sexual partners, according to new research. A study of 2,000 Americans who’ve had sex revealed that of those who’ve fibbed their number (32%), 42% were men and 23% were women. Now that we know that a whopping third of us are…
When modern sex research began after World War II, many thought that “normal” sex was limited to married heterosexual vaginal intercourse—with everything else suspect or “perverted.” But over the past 70 years, as researchers have delved even deeper into sexuality, they’ve discovered that the loving, successful and mentally healthy population actually exhibits tremendous sexual diversity.…
Think about a time when you experienced a huge rush of positive and exciting emotions, like riding a roller coaster or finally standing up for yourself in an argument. These experiences often create an intense whirlwind of feelings that make us feel powerful, strong and almost invincible. But those feelings don’t last forever… Just like…
You know when you feel extremely close to your partner? Like after sex or whilst sharing a moment that enhances your bond and makes you feel even more in love or lust? Yeah, oxytocin plays a big role in facilitating that special bond. But its role doesn’t just stop there… What is Oxytocin? Oxytocin is…
If you’re a proud vulva owner, let me get a hallelujah! For starters, they’re freaking beautiful, aren’t they? And secondly, we’re continuously learning new ways to experience pleasure with this little sweet spot. Not only that, but having a vulva is basically a superpower on its own! Which is why LELO has revolutionized the game…
The more you use a vibrator and the stronger, does it eventually desensitize you? Do vibrators desensitize the clit? If I stimulate my clit with my toy too much can it cause any damage? Can a sex toy harm your private parts (ex. intense hard vibration on [the] clitoris)? Can you get addicted to us[ing]…
The clitoris has been misunderstood for a long time. Forever, really. Recently, a lot of research has emerged that has helped to explain the structure, function, and evolution of the clitoris, but you’d be surprised how even authoritative voices on the subject can still get it wrong, or be working to outdated information. We’ve come…
The impact of anxiety on sexuality, and vice versa, is by far the most prevalent concern amongst my clients. Anxiety about sex is an experience that pervades individuals and relationships regardless of gender, age, sexual orientation, or body type. Ironically, the relationship between stress and sexuality is a catch-22; research shows anxiety often interferes with…
In 2020, the majority of Americans had to learn to live with a new reality… cannabis being legalised across the nation in waves. At the time of writing, in July 2020, it’s completely legal in 11 states and the District of Columbia, and legal for medical use in 28 more states. It seems pretty likely…
Pleasure and luxury go hand in hand at LELO. It’s difficult, then, trying to convince people that pleasure is itself not a luxury. It’s essential. It’s painful, then, to see the results of the Today show in July which said that 46% of American women consider themselves sexually unsatisfied. It should be no real surprise.…
The Correspondent magazine ran an interesting story about asexuality the other day. It’s interesting because it exists. It does more than simply state that asexuality exists, but goes on to talk a little about what it’s actually like to live with. This is good, because it displays progress – albeit very small and slow progress…
Living a kinky life comes with some drawbacks. To understand the mentality of those of us who engage in BDSM or any other kind of fetishism , it’s important to consider the deeply rooted stigma and stereotypes that revolve around our sex lives. There’s a longstanding attitude that sex should never be pursued only for…
The last ten years has seen a significant spike in public interest in domination, submission, and BDSM . Most of our favorite TV Breakfast shows have featured bondage gear for chrissakes, so it’s safe to say our secret is out. However, while there may be a spike in folks suddenly interested in buying fluffy handcuffs…
Only this much is certain: demisexuality is not the adoration of Demi Lovato. If you love her, chase your bliss, but it’s not a sexuality. Demisexuality is something else entirely, and we’re going to take a quick look at it today. The language of sex, sexuality, and gender is becoming more varied and more nuanced…
The Mediterranean diet is known for its connection to extended longevity, prevention of diseases and now potentially aphrodisiac properties. It’s based primarily in the consumption of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, beans, herbs—and you guessed it, lots and lots of olive oil. What is it about this dietary fat that we can’t get enough of? …
There is no such thing as a normal sexual response. Everybody reacts differently, sexually speaking. There are as many different sexual responses as there are people on this big dumb planet. There is immeasurable variation in the way individual people enjoy and respond to sexual activity. Most sex that happens is, statistically, not very good.…
There’s no doubt this past year has brought about unexpected change for everyone, even in the bedroom. Whether you’ve been cooped up with your partner and having sex out of boredom, or home alone testing out virtual masturbation, this pandemic brought along an opportunity that showed us that sexual wellness is an important part of…
Queer sex therapist Casey Tanner took over LELO’s Instagram live to offer some amazing feedback on all sorts of topics—communication, boundary setting, PTSD, fetishes and more. Check out what she had to say about your questions! How do our bodies’ physical responses to sex encourage and/or limit our verbal communication? Our bodies are constantly communicating…
Since the approval in 1998 of Viagra, you’d be forgiven for suspecting that erectile dysfunction is the most prevalent sexual issue for men. But that’s simply not the case. Premature ejaculation far outstrips erectile dysfunction as the most common problem for men, when it comes to sex. What Causes Premature Ejaculation? Premature ejaculation is here…