This article was medically reviewed by Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist, researcher and award-winning educator. For more information: Website | Publications | Instagram To count the number of emotional and physical feelings we experience within a day would be merely impossible. We can go from happy to anxious, horny to angry, and sleepy to…
This article was medically reviewed by Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist, researcher and award-winning educator. For more information: Website | Publications | Instagram In the ongoing race between the sexes, we often assume that women get the short end of the stick, given how much more difficult – or at least, less well-served by…
Vibrators aren’t new. According to legend, Queen Cleopatra invented the first one around 54 BC by hollowing out a gourd and filling it with bees. Aren’t you glad you can just buy one online? Queen Cleopatra’s alleged makeshift vibrator and my favorite toys have something important in common. That is, they both provide external stimulation.…
This article was medically reviewed by Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist, researcher and award-winning educator. For more information: Website | Publications | Instagram We live in a world where one must often sacrifice health for pleasure and vice-versa; for instance, if we want one kind of six-pack, we must forgo the other – that…
This article was medically reviewed by Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist, researcher and award-winning educator. For more information: Website | Publications | Instagram From pegging to butt plugs to anal vibrators to milking, as well as fingering and (for some) even fisting, stimulating the prostate can be a source of so much sexual pleasure to…
This article was scientifically reviewed by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. She is a professor, researcher, private practitioner and Fellow of the American Psychological Association. While the word ‘lube’ might conjure up memories of questionable frat-hosted wrestling events or comically over-sized tubs of jelly on a porn set, using lube is one of the best…
This article was scientifically reviewed by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. She is a professor, researcher, private practitioner and Fellow of the American Psychological Association. 1. It’s More Than Meets the Eye A 3D model of the clitoris is just starting to make its rounds in Sex Ed. Classes, and honestly it’s about time. Everyone…
This article was scientifically reviewed by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. She is a professor, researcher, private practitioner and Fellow of the American Psychological Association. Dear LELO, Help! After an abnormal Pap smear, I was referred for a colposcopy… and have been told I have HPV. I have no idea who I got this from…
This article was scientifically reviewed by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. She is a professor, researcher, private practitioner and Fellow of the American Psychological Association. With all the lifting, stretching, running and sweating so many of us do at the gym however many times a week, we’re here to tell you about one muscle set…
This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. So you and your partner have both decided to introduce a sex toy to your relationship, realizing how much added enjoyment it can bring to your sensual sessions. The question now is; ‘which one do I choose?’ Because of course different types of…
What are things you can do to increase sexual desire with a partner To begin, it’s helpful to understand what kind of desire you and your partner have. There are at least two kinds of desire that we know of: spontaneous desire and responsive desire. Those with spontaneous desire might have the experience of feeling…
Enjoy our Q&A with sex therapist, Casey Tanner. How can sex help our mental health? There is so much evidence that sex, masturbation, and orgasm can all have amazing benefits on your health and mental health. This is mainly because the same system that is responsible for sex and arousal is also connected to the…
This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. After our article focusing on methods for masturbation involving a penis, we received a lot of feedback asking how to masturbate and about female masturbation in general. It’s great to explore what that “feel good” sensation solo, but sharing our tips can help…
For our September Q&A with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, we’re talking about DADT: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell types of relationships. What’s DADT? Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is a type of relationship where the partners agree that they’re going to have other partners, but that they’re not going to talk about it. They don’t want to know…
We’re back with sex therapist Casey Tanner answering reader questions about the orgasm and pleasure gap. Are some people with vulvas not capable of having an orgasm from penetrative sex? One of the more pervasive narratives that we’re taught about sexuality and sex is that penetrative sex is the coup de grâce or peak experience…
Enjoy our interview with certified sex therapist, Casey Tanner, who discusses readers’ questions about gender and sexual expansiveness. Q: Where can I find queer-positive, LGBTQ+ porn? It is certainly more difficult to find queer porn that doesn’t feel tokenizing or made for the male gaze. I find that the best, most ethical queer porn—or really…
A bit ago, I wrote an article on STIs (sexually transmitted infections, otherwise known as STDs). In it, I discussed how to help ensure you do not have an infection through testing, barrier method protection, and also by talking with your partner(s). Of all these, talking is often one of the hardest for people. Now,…
Hi everyone, this is Dr. Zhana and it’s time to talk about kinks! I got some really good questions from you that I can’t wait to answer them! What is the shortest explanation for ‘kink’? It’s always good to start with definitions! And the shortest one I can give you for kink is “an unusual…
Hi everyone, it’s Dr. Zhana! It’s time to answer your questions about sexual orientation and LGBTQ-related topics for Pride Month. I got some really good questions and I’m really excited to answer them. Q: I know gender is not binary, but is sex binary? All right, let’s start with the basics. Gender is more about…
Let’s get going by naming some of the myths I hear around womanhood and sex: that you should have pain when you have sex, that you should be able to orgasm through penetration alone, that squirting is pee, that all women have vulvas, that if you’re not wet you’re not enjoying sex or if you…
Physical disabilities can have an important impact on many different aspects of daily life, including sex. Unfortunately, however, sex and disability is a taboo topic of discussion that is rarely addressed, even by healthcare providers. It is important to break down the barriers to discussing sex and disability because everyone—regardless of their ability status—is deserving…
Hello everyone, this is Dr. Zhana! It’s time for a monthly Q&A! Since May is masturbation month, that’s what we are going to talk about. And there are so many good questions that you’ve asked. I can’t wait to answer them all. Here we go! It’s not shameful to masturbate, right? This is actually a…
Hi everyone, this is Dr. Zhana. I’m a professor of human sexuality at New York University and resident LELO sexpert. This month was International Women’s Day, so we’re going to talk about female desire. I want women to feel comfortable talking about sensuality. I want that too, so badly! Unfortunately, we live in a world…
This article was written by Dr. Justin Lehmiller. Penises don’t always work the way we want them to. Over the course of a man’s life, he will occasionally experience erections at inconvenient or undesirable times, and he will occasionally be unable to get an erection when he wants one. This is all perfectly normal. However,…
“A clean bill of sexual health” is a phrase used to mean that you are STD free. But (we have to address the problems) let’s talk about the trouble with this phrase. An STD is more accurately referred to as an STI (sexually transmitted infection), because not all infections lead to symptoms and diseases, especially…
Hi everyone, this is Dr. Zhana, and, oh my god, pegging is a popular topic! I got so many questions, I love how curious you all are about it. All right, here we go. What is pegging? First things first – what is pegging? Pegging is penetrating someone using a strap-on, which is typically a…
This article was written by Social Psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller. Having a threesome is the single most popular sexual fantasy. I surveyed more than 4,000 American adults about their most intimate thoughts for my book Tell Me What You Want and one of the key things I discovered when I looked at people’s biggest sexual…
This article was written by Social Psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller. Sex and disability is a topic that is not often discussed. It is rarely—if ever—addressed in sex education courses, and few doctors are comfortable talking about sexual issues with disabled patients. Part of the reason for this is because disabled persons are often stereotyped as…
This article was scientifically fact-checked and written by Social Psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller. What’s the first image that comes to mind when you hear the term “attention deficit hyperactivity disorder” (ADHD)? Odds are, you’re probably imagining a kid who is hyperactive or has trouble focusing in school. However, ADHD isn’t just for kids—it affects adults,…
How is mindfulness really connected to our sex lives? When it comes to our sexualities, most of us were taught NOT to pay attention. Perhaps our parents avoided conversations about sex altogether, or maybe we had a really awkward experience in sex education class. Most of us were taught to refer to our genitals as…
This article was scientifically fact-checked and written by Social Psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller. People have a tendency to look at orgasm as the ultimate goal of sex, an idea that sex therapists refer to as the orgasmic imperative. From this perspective, sex isn’t really sex unless an orgasm happens, which leads people to approach sex…
Introducing anything new into the bedroom (or wherever you’re getting it on) can be nerve-racking as it is, especially when it comes to the stigmas so closely tied to sex toys. We’re here to clear the air and offer some tips for communicating new desires with a partner who may not recognize the potential to…
This article was scientifically fact-checked by Social Psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller. In women, the G-spot is an area that, when stimulated, often leads to very intense orgasms. Much has been said and written about the G-spot, and there’s still some debate about what exactly it is, but research suggests that, rather than being a distinct…
Hi everyone, this is Dr. Zhana and I am so excited about our Q&A today on the topic of anal play. And apparently so are you, because I received more questions on this topic than any other topic I’ve ever done! So let’s go! Q: Can it be pleasurable for women? Let’s start with a…
Becoming a parent can add a lot of joy, love, and excitement to your life, but it’s not without some personal costs and challenges. As parents begin to shift their time and attention away from each other and toward their children, they often find it difficult to maintain a healthy intimate life. Indeed, research has…
We’ll skip the fluff. Sex therapist Casey Tanner joined us to answer the most frequently asked questions about rabbit vibrators. Discover how they work and if they’d be a great fit for you. Q: What are they, and how do they work? Rabbit vibrators get their name from their shape, as they typically have two…
The more you use a vibrator and the stronger, does it eventually desensitize you? Do vibrators desensitize the clit? If I stimulate my clit with my toy too much can it cause any damage? Can a sex toy harm your private parts (ex. intense hard vibration on [the] clitoris)? Can you get addicted to us[ing]…
The impact of anxiety on sexuality, and vice versa, is by far the most prevalent concern amongst my clients. Anxiety about sex is an experience that pervades individuals and relationships regardless of gender, age, sexual orientation, or body type. Ironically, the relationship between stress and sexuality is a catch-22; research shows anxiety often interferes with…
Hi everyone! Dr. Zhana here for another monthly Q&A on LELO’s Instagram. Since it’s been hot lately, we’re gonna talk about self-pleasure in the heat, sex, vacation sex… and any seasonal sex-related things. Q: What is the difference between summer sex and other seasons? Excellent first question! The greatest difference, I think, is the fun…
If you follow this blog, you likely have already seen the wonderful pieces on the vagina vs. the vulva and/or on the clitoris . But I want to talk more about female genital anatomy, or the whole hooha in the all-together – clitoris, vulva, vagina, and linked uterus -, and about how that anatomy corresponds…
This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. We’re in an age of categories. Baby boomers. Millennials. Generation Y. Gen Z. Can we expect a surge of babies in nine months’ time, as a result of the sex* we imagine is happening right now, with all of us self-isolating in the…
This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. Our lives are currently a contradiction of fears and anxieties like most of us have never experienced before. Fear about an invisible contagion that can be carried and transferred by strangers without their knowledge, and anxiety caused by having to isolate ourselves in…
We have entered week whatever and a year (yes, the official count) of lockdown, and it may be starting to get to you. If you are sheltering alone this time may feel surprisingly stressful. And if you are extra irritable or feeling lonelier than expected, you are not crazy! There are basic, biological reasons behind…
This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. Sarcasm aside, we invite everyone with female genitalia to take a sec and reevaluate their vocabulary when it comes to naming their bits. Even seemingly minor things such as names (although names are definitely not a small deal) deeply influence how the female…
This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. As the invisible virus keeps spreading globally, infecting people and transforming our reality into a new and unknown one, there is another virus threatening us – the virus of anxiety. To fight it, we must mobilize one of our basic survival mechanisms, and…
This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. We’ve got no choice: This decade will now be defined by the only thing anyone has spoken about for weeks: the new coronavirus. When this period is studied in the future’s history books, it won’t be the advent of commercial space travel, or…
This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. By now we’re certain you’ve come across a multitude of articles on how to stay busy and stressless during this period of self isolation. DIY, spring cleaning, quarantine sex tips —sound familiar? The truth is, a majority of people don’t live alone! Which…