So you’re getting ready for a first date. How exhilarating! Is your tummy filled with butterflies, creating a slew of anxiety, intrigue, and excitement? Are you preparing to look and feel your best, to make a great impression, and hopefully get whatever it is you want out of this date? Maybe you’re looking for a…
“I only date Asian girls because they’re so hot.” “Once you go black, you’ll never go back.” “Oh, no, man. I only date white girls. Black girls are just not my type.” Unfortunately, statements like these are a fairly frequent occurrence in conversations amongst people, even the younger generations, who are more aware of racism…
You’d think that sex, love, and romance would be the most natural things for humans, but that’s not always the case. Many of us are often left floundering when it comes to these vital parts of life. Sex ed in school often leaves people more confused than before, your parents may not have the best…
Question: how did you meet your current partner? And what about the last person you dated? Chances are, you’ve gone on a number of dates with people you’ve met on one or more online dating sites. And while these apps are mostly a pain, they can actually work. Think about it: at this very moment…
Love at first sight is so often romanticised. In movies, films, and even in real life. And while the thought of it does sound appealing, there is the flip side of it all. In other words, is love at first sight actually quite shallow? Does it mean that one can be filled with feelings of…
It might surprise you that it’s not “Boobs. Boobs. BOOBS.” There are many things that are going through a man’s mind while he’s making love–and yes, there’s a good chance he’s fantasizing about someone or something else. And that’s okay, because you’re probably doing it too! What is he thinking during sex? While making love,…
There’s a well-known expression that goes, “birds of a feather, flock together”. So we were curious to find out whether this expression was applicable when it comes to sex and dating. Well, more so about whether vegetarians and vegans were more likely to date other vegetarians and vegans (spoiler alert? They are!), and if being…
Being in a relationship is hard–especially when they’re long term. For some, they form their identity around their partner, making it hard to spot things that they perhaps once believed to be a deal breaker. Not just that, but seeing those waving red flags are even harder when you’re so invested in another human. And…
If your satisfaction with your sex life has been lackluster, instead of finding a new partner or blaming it on both of you being incompatible in bed, it might be a good idea to learn how to be a better lover instead. Bad sex doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you or your partner.…
While polygamy is rife in many societies, monogamy still seems like the most mainstream way in which to have a relationship. We’re often bombarded with images, influences, and expectations to get married, have that white picket fence, three children, and a dog, then live happily ever after. But because we’re more open-minded today in exploring…
You know how people often associate romance with a warm, gooey feeling? Like butterflies in one’s stomach that flutter and twirl so uncontrollably that it feels as though they’re going to burst from excitement, love, or lust? Turns out, not everyone feels that way about romance! Indeed, there are individuals who consider their romantic orientation…
We’re just sliding into that late autumn/early winter colder months – you know the time: the air is crisp, the sleeves are long and the lattes are pumpkin spiced. But now that the sun is setting earlier and there’s enough of a nip in the air to make an excuse to skip after-work drinks, have…
You may or may not have heard of the term ‘demisexual’. For reference, demisexual is when a person only experiences sexual attraction to another when they have a close emotional bond with them. This bond need not be romantic in nature however—it could even be a platonic friendship. Regardless, demisexuality isn’t actually about being sexually…
Sex columnist Dan Savage explained the art of talking dirty very simply: “Dirty talk for beginners: Tell ’em what you’re going to do, tell ’em what you’re doing, tell ’em what you did.” This formula sounds perfect, but what if you’re shy and struggle with articulating your thoughts? Not all people are comfortable with voicing…
We put a lot of emphasis on our romantic relationships, and for good reason. Romance lights us up, inspires us, and helps us feel that fiery rush of what it means to be alive. Romance, however, isn’t always easy to find, especially amidst a pandemic with off-and-on lockdowns. Even dating apps can be a tricky…
The second episode of our pleasure podcasts takes around the globe to discuss the effects of the ongoing pandemic of human relationships. How has the prolonged time spent together influenced couples? How has the dating scene changed? Or how to deal with the psychological impacts of lockdown? These and many more questions form the basis…
Being single usually has a fairly sad undertone for many people. Movies and media had shaped a certain image of how the life of single people looks like, with tons of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream or endless booze on Friday nights and questionable sex life. But in real life, being single doesn’t have to…
Samantha Jones once said, “Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it’s good, you can’t get it anymore. If it’s bad, you just had sex with an ex.” Even the fictional queen of casual sex knew that sex with an ex is complicated, yet surveys report that even 44% of people have sex with…
Sexual compatibility is one of the most important aspects of every relationship. Whenever we meet a new partner, we’re always eager to find out whether we’re compatible in the sheets. We’re looking for that spark, that instant attraction to another person, where you can’t seem to get enough of each other and where you don’t…
Whether you’re a pinch hitter in middle school or a relief pitcher who’s been to the mound a few times, you’re probably like us and very, very confused by all the baseball terminology that pop culture has made so famous. We’re of course talking about the different bases correlating to different levels of intimacy with…
LGBT. LGBTQ. LGBTQI. LGBTQIA+. As an out and proud member of the queer community, I relish each letter our little web of support brings to the table. Under such a big, welcoming archway of possibility, there are few things more beautiful than queers and our ability to meet one another exactly where we’re at. Most…
March 20th marks International Day of Happiness, and we’re dedicating the latest research to sex and happiness, that is, why sex makes us feel good and what we can do to have sex that makes us happy. What Does Sex Mean? We may ask ourselves, what does sex mean to a woman? What does sex…
Is your partner’s love language verbal affirmation? If so, you should definitely take advantage of World Compliment Day to show them some love. Words are one of the most powerful tools of communication and making your crush, girlfriend, wife, or life partner feel butterflies can start with a simple text. What is World Compliment Day…
You might think that people who are truly in love automatically know the answer to this question, with no doubt in their minds—and a lucky few do, but for many, this generally isn’t the case. People vary in the extent to which they know and can distinguish between their own emotions. This puts us in…
Ah the cold, cozy winter evenings. You know the ones we’re talking about, when all you want to do is wrap yourself in huge blanket, relax in front of the fire – and have sex. That’s at least according to a number of U.S. studies regarding seasonal effects on sensuality; winter is when we all…
How do we know for sure if someone sees us as especially attractive and a potential partner? And how do we let others know if we find them equally attractive , or simply see them as friends? One way is by recognizing flirtatious facial expressions, according to a study published in a September 2020 issue…
What’s the secret to staying madly in love? Is it even possible to feel madly in love with someone after 5, 10, 20 years together? Due to recent neurological research, we are a bit closer to answering these perplexing questions and demystifying the secrets behind achieving intense, lasting, romantic love. A recent study published online…
One of the hardest aspects of ending a romantic relationship or marriage is listening to others tell you what you need to do. Many people don’t know what to say or how to comfort you, or they take on the responsibility of “fixing” you and your situation. In reality, all you really want (and need)…
While no two couples are the same, there are a few tips and tricks that can definitely make a difference when it comes to having a stronger relationship. And according to Gary Chapman, a doctor of philosophy, counselor, and author, the key to having a lasting relationship is to know, and make use of, the…
We often discuss the issue on this blog of dealing with a partner with a higher sex drive than you . But what if you are that partner? What advice is there for those of us who’s sexual appetite isn’t being fulfilled? LELO has compiled five tough-love tips to help cope with a higher level…
We have very complex mating strategies as a species. Research shows that a heterosexual woman will adapt their behavior and the way they dress depending on the kind of relationship they’re looking for. Whether it’s innate or it’s down to external, cultural pressures is an important consideration, but whatever the reason, straight women looking for…
We’re not saying that these eight sex-themed ideas aren’t ideal for any day! But, if you and your partner or your friends with benefits are coming up on an anniversary of some sorts, these raunchy activities are not only unique and fun, but also super sexy. From staycations and seemingly innocent games turned dirty, to…
We all have different coping strategies when a relationship breaks down, and each of us reacts differently to finding ourselves alone after investing time and emotion into someone else. Some of us lose ourselves in work, others in sport and exercise. Some self-medicate with alcohol or drugs, a few jump feetfirst into their singledom through…
You swiped right. You matched. You want to have sex with this person. But what do you need to know up front? What insights can you glean from instant messaging that might be important? Below, we list five of what we think are important questions to ask before you hook up with a stranger to…
The majority of people meet their partners through friends, family, work, or social groups. But increasingly, we’re meeting our partners online, due to having access to a high volume of people, being able to organise them easily, and communicate with them safely, at our own leisure. Dating apps like Tinder have simplified the process even…
Many of us worry about the way our sexual desire fades as a relationship progresses. We’re usually aware of the honeymoon effect, and we expect that the beginning of a new relationship will be sexier and more passionate than the later stages, but regardless, we still wonder if the dip in sex drive is normal.…
Various reasons can make you feel anxious about your sexual performance but do not despair, these five simple hacks can help you quickly boost your lovemaking performance. 1. Be careful what you eat prior to sex Make sure to carefully monitor your food intake before sex because it can seriously damage your performance. On top…
Someone once told me that, after a breakup, your heart should only hurt for half the amount of time the relationship lasted. So, a two-year relationship would equal a year of mourning, and a ten-year relationship will hurt for five years. Bullshit. I had relationships which lasted months but hurt for years. There’s a girl…
Is masturbation cheating? It’s one of those little questions that shouldn’t matter, and it doesn’t, until it really does. Like, ‘do we have enough oxygen?’ or ‘what happens if you cross a cat with a T-Rex?’ Despite a growing amount of flexibility in our relationships, the majority of our relationships are largely monogamous , and…
There are a lot of questions that arise before thinking about coming out (a metaphor used by the LGBTQ+ community referring to revealing your sexual identity) to your friends, family, workplace, etc. How do I tell them? When? What will they say? Is it even worth it? It’s important to weigh the pros and cons…
Let’s get straight to it… you should be enjoying (more) sex! Whether it’s for all of the added mental and physical health benefits , pleasure, or even to strengthen your relationship. But for couples who don’t instinctively ‘hop to it’ like rabbits every hour on the hour, (do these people even exist?!) intiating sex can…
May was, once again, Masturbation Month , a whole month of masturbatory glee invented in the 90s by an enviously forward-thinking sex toy store in New York. And yet, despite us having a month of open frivolity (and rampant sex toy marketing), the discussion of masturbation in public is still considered taboo. That’s frustrating for…
When we hear the word introvert, most of us imagine a person with robot-like social skills. Such extremes, however, are relatively rare, which is exactly what makes them extreme. In reality, there’s a continuous scale between absolute introversion and extroversion and almost all of us fall somewhere in between. Nevertheless, the fact that we gravitate…
We get a lot of feedback from our wonderful readers, and as June is Pride month, we are going to be tackling some of the questions we’ve received from our LELO fans in the LGBTQ community. Q: Dear LELO, I’ve been a big fan of your products and blog for a few years, but I…
It seems almost redundant to say “sex brings you closer to your partner.” I don’t think you need us to tell us that. But few of us consider why it makes us closer? What is it, scientifically speaking, that allows sex to enhance intimacy? Luckily, we have our fingers deep in many scientists’ bookshelves, so…
Hi everyone, this is Dr. Zhana, professor of human sexuality in New York University and it’s time to answer some questions about sex and love in this very strange time of the Coronavirus pandemic and the life-saving requirements to physically distance from people. It’s a challenging time for pretty much everyone. It’s challenging for single…
This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. We’re in an age of categories. Baby boomers. Millennials. Generation Y. Gen Z. Can we expect a surge of babies in nine months’ time, as a result of the sex* we imagine is happening right now, with all of us self-isolating in the…
Fact: we’re having sex earlier and getting married older. That means there are more years between adolescence and commitment for most of us, leaving more time for sexual adventure and casual hook-ups. Like it or loathe it, that’s the way of the world we live in. We are a reckless and hedonistic generation, and the…
What we find attractive changes from person to person. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all. But attraction is not based solely on beauty, and there are commonalities that we look for in partners, and that partners look for in us. These are five intangible things you can do today to enhance…
Alright, alright. I can already hear it: not the wedding bells for the next solo wedding, but the heckling. It’s coming from the comments section, and from trolls on social media. Sologamy, the art of marrying yourself, has long been the butt of many an anti-feminist joke. But if you can, just hear me out.…