Samantha Jones once said, “Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it’s good, you can’t get it anymore. If it’s bad, you just had sex with an ex.” Even the fictional queen of casual sex knew that sex with an ex is complicated, yet surveys report that even 44% of people have sex with…
Sexual Health
Talking about: STIs, COVID, and #HotVaxSummer
A bit ago, I wrote an article on STIs (sexually transmitted infections, otherwise known as STDs). In it, I discussed how to help ensure you do not have an infection through testing, barrier method protection, and also by talking with your partner(s). Of all these, talking is often one of the hardest for people. Now,…
Do Men Really Have a Higher Sex Drive Than Women?
Women are morally superior prudes, who barely think about sex, and men are never-satisfied, sexually hungry beasts, right? That’s the stereotypes of sexual desire in both sexes we are used to seeing in media and our culture on a daily basis. Interestingly, though, this understanding of sex drive in women and men we have to…
People with Penises Can Squirt, Too
As someone who was voted “most pessimistic” in grade school, it seems it’s in my nature to be a skeptic. So when I was recently informed that people with penises can squirt like people with vulvas, my immediate reaction was to question its legitimacy. A way of penis-owners saying: “Well, I can do that, too!”…
The Porn Star Experience (PSE): The Ultimate Fantasy Come to Life?
Just like a romantic movie in which someone chases another through the airport, sweeps them off their feet and they live happily ever after, the porn star experience is oddly similar… although on opposite ends of the spectrum. You see, the PSE has been called “the porn star experience” for a reason… it’s something you…
Rough Sex—Why Do We Crave It?
Sex is one of the best ways to build intimacy and connect with your partner. When you’re both naked, bodies touching, sensually moving together while keeping each other’s gaze, the atmosphere is very romantic and pleasant. But sometimes, you just don’t want to do it sweet and soft. Sometimes, you just want to be thrown…
Everything You Need to Know About Gender, Sexuality and PRIDE—Dr. Zhana Q&A
Hi everyone, it’s Dr. Zhana! It’s time to answer your questions about sexual orientation and LGBTQ-related topics for Pride Month. I got some really good questions and I’m really excited to answer them. Q: I know gender is not binary, but is sex binary? All right, let’s start with the basics. Gender is more about…
Thinking of Getting a Hood Piercings? Here’s Everything You Need to Know
The female genitalia is a wondrous thing, and it becomes even more marvelous when you realize that you can bedazzle your bits with jewelry. There are actually a few different places on the vagina that can be pierced, but the most popular of them all is the vertical clitoral hood (VCH from here on) piercing…
Precum 101: The Ultimate Guide to Pre-Ejaculate and Everything You Need To Know About It
Precum or pre-ejaculate is a fluid that comes out of a penis when the penis owner becomes aroused. It can show up at any time during foreplay or during masturbation, and some people notice it, while others don’t. It’s a very natural part of penis-owner anatomy, but there is still a lot of misconception about…
Getting Wet: Let’s Talk About Vaginal Discharge and What It Is
Vaginal discharge, arousal fluid, squirting fluid, and cervical fluid. So many different vagina fluids that it can be hard to keep track of and understand the differences between each, right? But it doesn’t have to be — once you understand the purpose of vagina fluids and why our bodies produce them, the difference becomes clear…
Myth Busting About Womanhood, Femininity and Sex
Let’s get going by naming some of the myths I hear around womanhood and sex: that you should have pain when you have sex, that you should be able to orgasm through penetration alone, that squirting is pee, that all women have vulvas, that if you’re not wet you’re not enjoying sex or if you…
Paralysed Sex: What You Need To Know About Sex and Spinal Cord Injuries
Physical disabilities can have an important impact on many different aspects of daily life, including sex. Unfortunately, however, sex and disability is a taboo topic of discussion that is rarely addressed, even by healthcare providers. It is important to break down the barriers to discussing sex and disability because everyone—regardless of their ability status—is deserving…
What is a Rainbow Kiss?
If I had to pinpoint the most enjoyable thing that’s happened to the world of sex since the internet came on thr scene, it’s that folks these days are always cooking up fresh ways to talk about the things we get up to when we’re getting down. If you browse Reddit or Twitter, it seems…
Why is Lube So Important for Anal Play & What Lube Should You Be Using?
So you love a bit of anal pleasure? Fabulous! Those who embrace this kind of play are welcoming a whole new world of delicious sensations to their sexual experience. If anal isn’t for you though, that’s fine! Whatever floats your boat! But if you are either active or intrigued when it comes to this kind…
Ask a Doctor: Female Pleasure FAQs with Dr. Zhana
Hi everyone, this is Dr. Zhana. I’m a professor of human sexuality at New York University and resident LELO sexpert. This month was International Women’s Day, so we’re going to talk about female desire. I want women to feel comfortable talking about sensuality. I want that too, so badly! Unfortunately, we live in a world…
What Does Sex Feel Like? Everything You’ve Ever Wanted To Know
Sex is truly a fascinating thing. Before you have sex for the first time, it seems like this wonderful, mysterious thing that will change your life. Being sexually aroused feels good, and the orgasms you give yourself during masturbation sessions are great. But then you start wondering: what does sex feel like with another person…
How To Get a Hard-On After 65
This article was written by Dr. Justin Lehmiller. Penises don’t always work the way we want them to. Over the course of a man’s life, he will occasionally experience erections at inconvenient or undesirable times, and he will occasionally be unable to get an erection when he wants one. This is all perfectly normal. However,…
What Does it Mean to be Panromantic
LGBT. LGBTQ. LGBTQI. LGBTQIA+. As an out and proud member of the queer community, I relish each letter our little web of support brings to the table. Under such a big, welcoming archway of possibility, there are few things more beautiful than queers and our ability to meet one another exactly where we’re at. Most…
Sex Talk #2: Megan Barton-Hanson x LELO
We followed up with Megan Barton-Hanson to see what she’s been up to since we last spoke. Here’s the update on her recent orbit around the sun, future adventures, and sex advice for anyone. First of all, happy belated 27th birthday! We’re happy to see Post Malone (even the cardboard version) made it to your…
A Clean Bill of Sexual Health
“A clean bill of sexual health” is a phrase used to mean that you are STD free. But (we have to address the problems) let’s talk about the trouble with this phrase. An STD is more accurately referred to as an STI (sexually transmitted infection), because not all infections lead to symptoms and diseases, especially…
What Is a Sex Pillow & How Can It Make Your Sex Life Better?
There are simply no limitations as to how many props, toys, and kinky extras you bring into your bedroom antics. And while (we hope that) getting intimate with your partner is always a good time, there are a few things that could make your trysts even better. While the more obvious choices would include sex…
Your Guide to Sexy Lingerie
While the clothes you wear serve a functional role, it’s also true that wearing something you love has the power to make you feel powerful, happy, confident and beautiful. Clothing is also a huge form of self-expression that can evoke feelings within and from people around us. Which is why sexy underwear and lingerie can…
Want to Boost Your Mood? Research Says Have Happy Sex
March 20th marks International Day of Happiness, and we’re dedicating the latest research to sex and happiness, that is, why sex makes us feel good and what we can do to have sex that makes us happy. What Does Sex Mean? We may ask ourselves, what does sex mean to a woman? What does sex…
How to Think Differently about Low Libido in Lockdown
It’s been a tough year for everyone, and as lockdown measures look set to continue for the next few weeks at least, people are feeling the strain. The stress of living through a global pandemic has also been having a knock-on effect on people’s sex lives. In the early days of the pandemic, it seemed…
International Sex Guide: 5 LGBTQ+ Friendly & Sex-Positive Cities Around the World
So you’re looking for a few fun, flirty, and cheeky activities in a new location! Or maybe you’re just stumped finding something sexy to do in your city? Well, the world is actually your sensual aphrodisiac oyster! There are tons of thrilling things to do worldwide! And with our international sex guide, you’ll surely be…
Disabled Sex: How to Have Great Sex with Limited Mobility
This article was written by Social Psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller. Sex and disability is a topic that is not often discussed. It is rarely—if ever—addressed in sex education courses, and few doctors are comfortable talking about sexual issues with disabled patients. Part of the reason for this is because disabled persons are often stereotyped as…
How Does ADHD Affect Your Sex Life?
This article was scientifically fact-checked and written by Social Psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller. What’s the first image that comes to mind when you hear the term “attention deficit hyperactivity disorder” (ADHD)? Odds are, you’re probably imagining a kid who is hyperactive or has trouble focusing in school. However, ADHD isn’t just for kids—it affects adults,…
Sex is NOT Better When it’s Rare
If you think having sex once a week (or month, or year) is enough, think again. Forget treating the Big O like a rare occasion that calls for taking out your grandma’s china. Sex is something that should be on your menu as often as you dang well please – and if you’re holding back…
Sex-fit: Exercise and sex
Being fit takes you a long way in terms of sexual performance, but not every exercise is the same. Some types will do a much better job preparing you for sexual mastery. Fit for Sex One of the most obvious signs that you need to improve your fitness is feeling shortness of breath. Also, you…
Why the Heck Do Men Have Nipples?
It’s a question for the ages, one that scholars and philosophers alike have scratched their heads over. Likely, one day in ancient Greece, even Socrates and Plato himself looked down in the shower and pondered ‘what the hell do I have these things for, anyways?’ Of course, ‘these things’ that he was wondering about are…
Who Sends Dick Pics?
You pick up your phone in the morning, only to be surprised by an unsolicited, sexually explicit photo in your inbox. Unprepared for the visual, it takes you a minute to recognize the return address as someone you recently met on an online dating site, who has shamelessly sent you the photo using their own…
Should a Man’s Orgasm Be the End of a Sexual Encounter?
This article was scientifically fact-checked and written by Social Psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller. People have a tendency to look at orgasm as the ultimate goal of sex, an idea that sex therapists refer to as the orgasmic imperative. From this perspective, sex isn’t really sex unless an orgasm happens, which leads people to approach sex…
Brainsex: Which Bits Do What?
A lot of what we have learned about how our brain controls our sex lives comes from research done on animals, typically rodents and small mammals. Although the use of animal models is obviously limited given the significant differences between animal and human sexuality, there is a relationship between the particular brain regions implicated in…
Can You Use a Vibrator While Pregnant?
Oh hey there mama’s-to-be or friends and family of a soon-to-be mom! Today we’re going to be talking about using a vibrator during pregnancy… in the ins and outs, is it safe, is it encouraged, or is it a big no-no? Of course, we’re looking at giving you sound advice that includes satisfying any carnal…
Can You be Addicted to Love?
Romantic love has often been considered a type of addiction or even sickness. There is no doubt that love involves constant thinking about, and activities with, one’s beloved. But is such persistent preoccupation with one person always detrimental? Should it be regarded as a type of addiction, or might it actually be beneficial to the…
Everything You Need to Know About the Male G-Spot—And How to Stimulate It
This article was scientifically fact-checked by Social Psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller. In women, the G-spot is an area that, when stimulated, often leads to very intense orgasms. Much has been said and written about the G-spot, and there’s still some debate about what exactly it is, but research suggests that, rather than being a distinct…
The Science Of Attraction
When it comes to sex and mating, what do you find attractive? As Daniel Conroy-Beam puts it, “All humans have a psychology of short-term and long-term of mating,” and some researchers in the field of evolutionary psychology study this issue in a variety of creative ways. Attraction is an incredibly personal issue. Even though there…
Holiday Self Love with Dr. Zhana
The holiday season is here and it’s time to talk about self-love during the holidays! I got some really interesting questions. Let’s start at the beginning: What is self-love? What is self love and how to express that? I define self-love as virtually any act that you do for yourself, to show to yourself that…
How Holiday Stress Affects Your Sex Life (and What You Can Do About It)
Dreaming of a white Christmas? Oh, how lucky for you! So unbothered and untouched by the world! I think most of us would be able to accept a couple of green patches peeking out through the snow in exchange for a smooth, stress-free holidays. It’s a real shame that the ‘most wonderful time of the…
How Do We Know If Someone Is Flirting?
How do we know for sure if someone sees us as especially attractive and a potential partner? And how do we let others know if we find them equally attractive , or simply see them as friends? One way is by recognizing flirtatious facial expressions, according to a study published in a September 2020 issue…
When We’re in Love, But Not with Sex
While problems with our sex life can certainly have a negative influence on our romantic relationships, there are many of us who report having low sexual desire yet are still deeply in love with our partners. How do we navigate loving relationships when we don’t really love having sex? In a new study published in…
Tips for Preventing Holiday Stress and Depression
Taking control of the holidays is no easy feat. A popular misconception that has been debunked in recent years is the false connection between increased suicide and winter months (there’s actually a spike in the Spring), but things like seasonal affective disorder , failed expectations, and loneliness still weigh heavy amongst a lot of people…
Did You Know? Pillow Talk Promotes Sexual and Relationship Satisfaction
For some people, sex and intimacy is a way in which to get rid of any dating jitters or awkwardness. And while it may seem kind of like putting the cart before the horse, the act of sex and engaging in pillow talk could actually create a meaningful emotional bond between two people. This is…
Getting Behind All Your Anal Sex Questions (Dr. Zhana Q&A)
Hi everyone, this is Dr. Zhana and I am so excited about our Q&A today on the topic of anal play. And apparently so are you, because I received more questions on this topic than any other topic I’ve ever done! So let’s go! Q: Can it be pleasurable for women? Let’s start with a…
How Big Is The Average Penis?
Men tend to overestimate the size of their penis, according to British psychiatrist David Veale. Even so, they worry that they’re below-average. Veale and his team decided to get accurate measurements. Their study pulls together data on 15,521 men from around the world. The magic numbers? The researchers concluded that the average flaccid penis is…
Kiss Of Life: 5 Kissing Factoids
We put a lot of stock in kissing. For most of us, it’s our first experience with romance and intimacy, and it can quickly tell us a lot about the qualities of a potential partner. Below, we look at five facts we can learn about kissing to make it all better. 1. Not everyone loves…
Nipple Play: The Gateway to Increased Arousal!
Oftentimes we look to a woman’s breasts as a sexual part of the body, forgetting that the nipples are too a source of nourishment for offspring. Big, full breasts and hard nipples have the ability to drive people wild, while some women can even climax from nipple stimulation alone. Basically, a woman’s nipples are wondrous…
What Would Freud Say About Your Dreams?
Psychologists are genuinely divided over the function and meaning of dreaming. Some psychologists think that dreams are nothing more than the result of random brain activity that occurs while we are sleeping, while others accept the perspective of people such as Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung that dreams can reveal a person’s deepest unconscious wishes…
The Strange Rules Of Attraction
Are you primarily attracted to men, women, both, or neither? Fascinating research shows that we may not consciously realize who attracts us. While straight and gay men seem to accurately detect their sexual attraction toward women and men, it appears that straight women and lesbians may not. Researchers Chivers et al. (2004) presented straight men…
Advice To Reject After A Breakup
One of the hardest aspects of ending a romantic relationship or marriage is listening to others tell you what you need to do. Many people don’t know what to say or how to comfort you, or they take on the responsibility of “fixing” you and your situation. In reality, all you really want (and need)…