Sometimes, we are so turned on, so turned up, so tuned in that our bodies are not our own. We want be one with another (or, a good vibrator). The need to have sex – but mostly to get off – is primal, and occasionally a quickie is just what the hormones ordered. But please,…
Sex Therapy
Is Micro-Cheating a Thing?
Have you heard the term “micro-cheating”? Maybe you think it’s just the latest in a long line of fabricated TikTok hashtags designed for easy click bate. But actually, micro-cheating refers to real life behaviors that can wreak havoc on relationships. While there isn’t one reigning definition of micro-cheating, most experts agree with what Psychology Today…
How Does Affection Affect Long-Term Relationships?
When a relationship is new, it’s filled with excitement, warmth and goodwill. Most people – even those who aren’t touchy feely – enjoy some type of physical connection that isn’t necessarily sexual. Holding hands, arms around one another, hugs, playing footsie – all of these behaviors signal “hey – I really want you in my…
Spice It Up: It’s All About the Novelty
It’s inevitable – long-term partners are gonna get bored. Maybe it’s the conversation, your daily routine or the same old weekend plans. At some point, sex might also morph into a yawn-apalooza. Being with a long-term partner can mean a lifetime of love, connectedness, commitment and care. And contrary to popular belief, it can also…
Does Stress Affect Fertility?
It’s generally accepted by the medical community that chronic stress can lead to wide-ranging physical and behavioral health issues. When we experience any kind of upset, our nervous systems trigger the “fight-flight-freeze” response. That’s a protective function. But when it happens too frequently, and if we aren’t able to manage symptoms, we’re at increased risk…
Erectile Dysfunction in Younger Men Is Common. But Why?
Years ago, I was interviewed for an article on Erectile Dysfunction in young men. It was interesting to talk to a young female reporter who knew absolutely nothing about the subject. She sent me a long list of questions and we had several long discussions on the phone. I thought that this was a great…
How Open Should I Be with my Doctor?
It’s generally accepted among medical providers that the more information a patient shares, the better the care they can provide. There are very strong arguments for accurately answering everything a doctor asks you about your medical history and your current health and well-being. But what if there are details you don’t want to share because…
Should You Stalk Your Ex and Why is it So Addictive?
(Trigger Warning: while the word “stalk” appears in the blog below, please note that it’s being used in the non-menacing vernacular (as a synonym for “search”). The origin of the word means something entirely different – “stalking” in its original form is of serious nature and potentially dangerous. If you believe you are the victim…
How Trauma Can Affect Your Relationship
If you’ve experienced trauma – whether as a child or an adult – and if you haven’t received the support you need in order to process it thoroughly, relationships can be tricky. Before we jump into the interpersonal, let’s get a sense of what trauma is. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration (SAMHSA)…
Reduce Stress and Have Sex This Holiday Season
Let’s get right down to what you already know: the holiday season is upon us and that usually means a lot of added stress. The big headline? Stress and sex rarely mix. So, with all the travel and traffic and meal prep and gift lists and décor pressure and family pressure, etc., who can possibly…
I Love to Laugh: A Meditation Guide
There are a lot of different types of meditations to choose from and one of them is Laughter Meditation. Laughing comes from deep inside us and there’s always a healthy supply. You may be self-conscious at first but laughing out loud, not texting it (lol), breaks up tension in the body as it relaxes the…
Why Children Need Sex Ed
Parenting would be a lot easier if it were like baking – exact ingredients, precise directions, specific chocolate-to-dough ratio, and voila! The perfect chocolate chip cookie! (Um, I mean, kid). While there’s literally no one specific recipe for raising children, a lot of parents incorporate informed decision-making in their approach. Choosing if, how, and when…
Psycho-Emotional Symptoms of Menopause
Search for a numbered list of menopause symptoms on the web and you’ll find that there’s no one definitive inventory. One site says there are 34, another one says 66 – the cataloging varies widely. Since menopause research is relatively new and medical training for treatment is practically non-existent – and because each woman’s experience…
Is Porn Cheating?
How do you feel about porn? Now, how do you feel about someone consuming porn while in a committed relationship? Porn is one of those things that can be quite variable depending on the individuals involved, communication between those individuals, past behavior, and current relationship conditions – even the type of porn can be a…
It’s Time to Masturbate More (and Better)
Whether it’s exercising more, eating more sustainably, or saving money, we all want to improve our lives, but it can be a daunting task. Here is the perfect advice if you’re looking to get your life back into gear. Masturbate more. Yup, you heard me. You should be masturbating more! Masturbation, and orgasms, have a…
What Are You Feeling? Name it to Tame it.
In the novel “The Language of Flowers,” by Vanessa Diffenbaugh (2011), the main character’s only connection to herself and the world is through flowers and their meaning. She communicates her thoughts and feelings using flowers, as they give her the distance she needs to feel safe. Each type of flower represents a different emotional state;…
Attachment Theory in Love & Relationships
Attachment theory is the best way to understand love and romantic relationships. “Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950′s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: Anxious — people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partners ability to…
Sex in the Media: Explore or Ignore – Throwback Version
“Bridesmaids” still delivers. What makes this movie “Bridesmaids” so irresistible, even 12 years after its initial release? Thecomedy, written by Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo, was considered groundbreaking back in2011. It not only brought us iconic lines of comedic genius, but it broke down gender barriers byallowing female characters to be raunchy and authentic…
Toys For Men & Their Partners
Men love toys. As boys, they love boy toys. As men, they love man toys. Men often have special places where they play with their toys – the garage, the basement, the shed, the man cave. We men usually need to collect more toys to work on our toys. Some people might call them tools.…
Hottest Gift of the Year? It’s Not What You Think
Tis this season, and as the 300 Hallmark holiday films (seriously – they’ve made 300 of them!) inevitably feature – it’s snowflakes and sugar cookies and lights all aglow. And it’s oh so romantic, lest we forget. What happens when daydreams turn from peppermint mocha everything to cuffing and cozying and curling up with your…