Are you sex-stuck? Yup, I just made that up. But please, feel free – make it a hashtag. You know you wanna. Here’s what I’m really asking: is your sex life yawn-inducing? Same ol’ same ol’? BOR-ING??!! Don’t worry – we’ve got you. If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, sex can be deprioritized for…
Relationships
Foreplay: Who’s it for? Everyone.
Sometimes, we are so turned on, so turned up, so tuned in that our bodies are not our own. We want be one with another (or, a good vibrator). The need to have sex – but mostly to get off – is primal, and occasionally a quickie is just what the hormones ordered. But please,…
Is Micro-Cheating a Thing?
Have you heard the term “micro-cheating”? Maybe you think it’s just the latest in a long line of fabricated TikTok hashtags designed for easy click bate. But actually, micro-cheating refers to real life behaviors that can wreak havoc on relationships. While there isn’t one reigning definition of micro-cheating, most experts agree with what Psychology Today…
Mindfulness Really Can Improve Your Sex Life
Many people are under the impression that mindfulness exercises should be practiced in total silence. And while, sure, that’s ideal in some instances, the beauty of mindfulness is that you can depend on it no matter your environmental circumstances. Any mindfulness instructor will tell you that sometimes it’s more important to be present and grounded…
Erectile Dysfunction in Younger Men Is Common. But Why?
Years ago, I was interviewed for an article on Erectile Dysfunction in young men. It was interesting to talk to a young female reporter who knew absolutely nothing about the subject. She sent me a long list of questions and we had several long discussions on the phone. I thought that this was a great…
Authentic- The Word of the Year
Bet you couldn’t avoid “Best Of” lists last month as the year came to a close. Professional critics, influencers, and amateur bloggers alike love to get in on it, giving their seals of approval to a wide swath of items such as books, movies, sports highlights, gifts for hard-to-please Aunt Edna, sex toys (maybe Aunt…
How Trauma Can Affect Your Relationship
If you’ve experienced trauma – whether as a child or an adult – and if you haven’t received the support you need in order to process it thoroughly, relationships can be tricky. Before we jump into the interpersonal, let’s get a sense of what trauma is. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration (SAMHSA)…
Sex in the Media: Explore or Ignore – “Naked Attraction”
You might think this British series is a spoof on other titles with similar names, but you would be wrong. “Naked Attraction ” is actually as literal as literal gets. Here’s the premise: a person looking for love (dressed – at least at first) gives the once-over to six fully nude people, each of whom…
Reduce Stress and Have Sex This Holiday Season
Let’s get right down to what you already know: the holiday season is upon us and that usually means a lot of added stress. The big headline? Stress and sex rarely mix. So, with all the travel and traffic and meal prep and gift lists and décor pressure and family pressure, etc., who can possibly…
What Are You Feeling? Name it to Tame it.
In the novel “The Language of Flowers,” by Vanessa Diffenbaugh (2011), the main character’s only connection to herself and the world is through flowers and their meaning. She communicates her thoughts and feelings using flowers, as they give her the distance she needs to feel safe. Each type of flower represents a different emotional state;…
Attachment Theory in Love & Relationships
Attachment theory is the best way to understand love and romantic relationships. “Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950′s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: Anxious — people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partners ability to…
Suddenly, the World of Open Relationships is Much More… Open!
In the last few years, conversations around non-monogamy have become much more mainstream. From the Netflix series You, Me, Her to TikTok accounts like @OpenlyCommited – society is slowly becoming more open to the idea of being open. If you haven’t seen it, @Openlycommited is a TikTok account with upwards of 120K followers and nearly…
Sex in the Media: Explore or Ignore – Throwback Version
“Bridesmaids” still delivers. What makes this movie “Bridesmaids” so irresistible, even 12 years after its initial release? Thecomedy, written by Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo, was considered groundbreaking back in2011. It not only brought us iconic lines of comedic genius, but it broke down gender barriers byallowing female characters to be raunchy and authentic…
Sex in Marriage and Fear of Intimacy
Richard Nicastro, PhD looks at how a fear of intimacy can get in the way of the quality of the sexual relationship in your marriage. He poses questions for reflection for you and your partner to improve the connection. Emotional intimacy involves a connection that occurs between two people who have let their guard down…
Sex in Marriage and Fear of Intimacy
Richard Nicastro, PhD looks at why “intimacy is not for the faint of heart” and how a fear of intimacy can get in the way of the quality of the sexual relationship in your marriage. He poses questions for reflection for you and your partner to improve the connection. Emotional intimacy involves a connection that…
Trust: A Critical Component of Sexual Intimacy in Committed Relationships
Richard Nicastro, PhD, examines how the sexual intimacy stakes rise when you fall in love. He highlights the conditions that either encourage or discourage trust in a committed relationship. When love becomes part of the relationship landscape, when the other starts to matter to you, then how they respond takes on a heightened importance. And once love…
Married Sex Can be Great Sex
Richard Nicastro, PhD takes a deeper look at married (or long-term relationship) sex and some of the unique reasons it can be so satisfying. He encourages couples to understand their ruts and look for opportunities for change. You might have read about—or personally experienced—the challenges some married couples (or couples in long-term relationships) face when it comes…
Scheduled Sex? Perhaps So
We can all see the logic of scheduling life maintenance tasks like medical appointments or our car’s oil change, or even social events, like lunch with a friend. But when we hear of the idea of penciling sex into our busy calendars, we tend to balk…after all, “Sex should be spontaneous (shouldn’t it?)”; “Scheduling intimate…
Sexual Interest in Relationships: Navigating the Range Between “Low-to-No” and “High”
Richard Nicastro, PhD digs deeper into the important relationship dynamic of sexual interest. While acknowledging the normalcy of an imbalance, he suggests the shortest route to a solution that works for both couples is understanding and empathy for these differences. There are certain relationship dynamics that impact a couple’s sex life and certain relational dynamics…
The Truth about Men, Love and Intimacy
“I’ve been married for over twenty years. I know I’m not perfect, but I can honestly say that I do my best to be a good husband…I care about what my wife thinks of me asa husband and father.” ~Sal “It scares me to admit this, but I’d be totally lost without my wife. She’s…
Two Ways to Boost the Emotional Safety in Your Relationship
Emotional safety is one of the most important elements of any happy and healthy relationship. Yet there are so many ways it can be compromised. Sometimes it happens inadvertently and other times it’s a more direct assault on the foundation of the relationship. When a couple has a high level of emotional safety they usually…
Sexless Relationships and the Layered Cake Metaphor
Alysha Jeney, LMFT, looks at a lack of sex in relationships, the layered cake metaphor and what sex positivity looks like. A lack of sex in relationships can vary from trust issues to health related dysfunction. Sometimes circumstances such as having a new baby or struggling with infertility can throw everything off. Or maybe you…
Now is the Time to Strengthen Your Marriage, Here are 14 Ways
This is a very hard time; our emotional health and physical well-being are being challenged in pandemic life. We are trying to figure out how to be safe, care for our children and for many, assure even basic survival needs are met like income to pay for food and shelter. Marriage and long term relationships…
5 Creative Ways to Put a Spark in Your Sex life
Physical intimacy in your relationship doesn’t have to be boring – even if you’ve been married for decades! But if you find yourself getting tired of the same old routine or you’re just looking to heighten the passion you already feel for one another, read on. Being intimate with our partners is one of the…
Ways Couples Hide from Intimacy
Richard Nicastro, PhD explores the sneaky but effective ways couples can hide from intimacy. Emotional intimacy isn’t for the faint of heart. It takes courage and faith to open your heart to another, to let down your guard and take off the masks commonly worn out in the world (competent employer/employee, supportive friend, in-charge parent,…
Sex After an Affair
Dr Richard Nicastro, PhD A takes an in depth look at the impact of infidelity on post-affair sex. The emotional fallout from an affair is extensive, and the healing process can be a long and bumpy road. Couples committed to this healing journey should be mindful of what’s ahead for them as they try to…
In Lover’s Lane with Different Sex Drives?
Couples therapist, Rachel Moheban-Wachtel examines the common problem of a strong relationship but differing sex drives – and what you can do to combat sexual incompatibility. While in couples therapy, something that I find myself dealing with quite a bit is the sexual incompatibility that oftentimes occurs between a husband and wife. As a matter…
Scheduled Sex? Oh the Horror!
Richard Nicastro, PhD believes scheduled sex can be a good thing for many couples. He challenges some of the beliefs and “shoulds” around this topic as it relates to sexual intimacy in marriage and relationships. We can all see the logic of scheduling life maintenance tasks like medical appointments or our car’s oil change, or…
Sex in Marriage and Fear of Intimacy
Richard Nicastro, PhD looks at why “intimacy is not for the faint of heart” and how a fear of intimacy can get in the way of the quality of the sexual relationship in your marriage. He poses questions for reflection for you and your partner to improve the connection. Emotional intimacy involves a connection that…
Trust: A Critical Component of Sexual Intimacy in Committed Relationships
Richard Nicastro, PhD, examines how the sexual intimacy stakes rise when you fall in love. He highlights the conditions that either encourage or discourage trust in a committed relationship. When love becomes part of the relationship landscape, when the other starts to matter to you, then how they respond takes on a heightened importance. And once love…
Married Sex Can be Great Sex
Richard Nicastro, PhD takes a deeper look at married (or long-term relationship) sex and some of the unique reasons it can be so satisfying. He encourages couples to understand their ruts and look for opportunities for change. You might have read about—or personally experienced—the challenges some married couples (or couples in long-term relationships) face when it comes…
Scheduled Sex? Perhaps So
We can all see the logic of scheduling life maintenance tasks like medical appointments or our car’s oil change, or even social events, like lunch with a friend. But when we hear of the idea of penciling sex into our busy calendars, we tend to balk…after all, “Sex should be spontaneous (shouldn’t it?)”; “Scheduling intimate…
Sexual Interest in Relationships: Navigating the Range Between “Low-to-No” and “High”
Richard Nicastro, PhD digs deeper into the important relationship dynamic of sexual interest. While acknowledging the normalcy of an imbalance, he suggests the shortest route to a solution that works for both couples is understanding and empathy for these differences. There are certain relationship dynamics that impact a couple’s sex life and certain relational dynamics…
The Truth about Men, Love and Intimacy
“I’ve been married for over twenty years. I know I’m not perfect, but I can honestly say that I do my best to be a good husband…I care about what my wife thinks of me asa husband and father.” ~Sal “It scares me to admit this, but I’d be totally lost without my wife. She’s…