Dear Younger Queer Self, The world has lied to you all these years. They’ve coiled up the truth and twisted it into a mess of lies that makes it near impossible to find the start of it all. Let alone the truth. It’s a lie built on fear and misunderstanding. Much like many things in…
Experience pain during sex regularly can be a major obstacle to the happy development of a relationship. The anxiety of chronic pain can trigger avoidance behaviour, leading us to dodge activity that might lead to sex, like kissing, touching, or intimacy in general. Even going to bed at the same time can fall away due…
You do not have to choose a side; this is not a game of badminton, even though hiding who you are feels like a sport right now. You have been stressed out lately and feeling like an outsider. Here’s a surprise, there are more people like you than you could ever imagine. With that being…
If you follow this blog, you likely have already seen the wonderful pieces on the vagina vs. the vulva and/or on the clitoris . But I want to talk more about female genital anatomy, or the whole hooha in the all-together – clitoris, vulva, vagina, and linked uterus -, and about how that anatomy corresponds…
Dear Younger Queer Self, Your queerness will not look like it does on television shows. A group of giggly and charismatic celebrities are not about to arrive at your door and turn you into the person you long to be. You have to be your own Antoni. You have to cook yourself a nourishing meal.…
You know that feeling when you get fanny flutters and there’s just no getting past it until you rub one out? Yeah, that’s definitely not just a ‘single’ thing. Women, regardless of sexual orientation and relationship status , are masturbating . If they say they’re not, they’re either lying or they just haven’t discovered the…
Dear Younger Queer Self, The ideals of what you considered an inconsequential youth will not be lost on this world. You will be celebrated for the beautiful and intelligent woman that you have always strived to be. You will not have to sacrifice your femininity and frailty or dignity and integrity to be accepted and…
It had been a warm Summer night when we first met (isn’t it always?!). I remember the skin on my nose feeling tight from the day’s sun. My freckles were out in force. I had one of those soft grins going on that only comes with a day of drinking beers from the bottle in…
There’s no how-to guide, no roadmap, no detailed manual. Everyone’s journey through discovering their sexuality looks a little bit different, but sharing our knowledge can help those who are starting their journey, especially when it comes to coming out (to themselves and their loved ones). To commemorate the power of community despite not being able…
As difficult as it may seem, you must love yourself and believe in your heart of hearts that there will be many others who love you, too. Being authentic to yourself will bring joy into your life. There will always be times when you feel like you want to give-up or give-in. When that happens,…
Your mind and body will tell you exactly what they need. All you have to do is listen. This Orgasm Month, LELO is taking a holistic approach to orgasming in order to fight the dreaded Orgasm Gap . It’s about time we start thinking about our sexual wellness as part of our overall health and…
I shouldn’t be here. To tell the truth, I don’t know how I got here. I always found it an unnerving thing – to arrive at a destination without witnessing the journey. Tonight is different though. Anxiety fizzes beneath the surface but it isn’t the same kind. There is no heavy ball in my stomach.…
Dear Younger Queer Self, Queer looks different for everyone. Just because you don’t look a certain way, or act a certain way, doesn’t mean you’re any less queer than you feel. It’s difficult not to compare yourself to others, especially at such a raw young age, but I urge you to try your best to…
Sex is complicated. I often wonder if we knew that there were consequences up front, would we ever even bother with it at all? Some consequences are obvious: pregnancy, STIs, that kind of thing. But there’s a larger group of less commonly discussed after-effects that can undermine our sexual wellness, and because we don’t discuss…
Oh Dear, You have done it again. You have went against the grain, against the narrative. You are fifteen and can’t stop wondering why you have to like a boy. Unless you want to be called a “dyke”- although you do go through your fair share of masc haircuts/styles LOL. Thank you high school for…
Ah the Smithsonian, that age-old institution of science and reason. With an untouchable reputation for knowledge on all things natural, it’s only to be expected that within the pages of its publications you can discover anything you need to know about the natural world. As it happens, what we want to know today, is this:…
Dear Younger Queer Self, Dear little forest fae, dear big heart, dear chaos demon riddled with anxiety like the bark of a tree is riddled with insects, You know already, at 3, when you are tumbling through the woods and rivers like a little bear cub that your body is not what they say it…
Someone once told me that, after a breakup, your heart should only hurt for half the amount of time the relationship lasted. So, a two-year relationship would equal a year of mourning, and a ten-year relationship will hurt for five years. Bullshit. I had relationships which lasted months but hurt for years. There’s a girl…
Dear Younger Queer Self, One day, you won’t be afraid of people finding out who you are. One day, you’ll be proud of yourself and how far you’ve come. I know what you’re thinking when you look towards your future. You told everyone you didn’t want to get married or have kids, because you believed…
As an openly gay therapist who specializes at the intersection of couples and sex therapy, a large number of the clients I see are also gay. And one of the dynamics I often bump up against with these clients in particular is the gap between sexual and relational compatibility . Meaning that while a person…
When your mother asks you to wear a matching dress with your younger sister, don’t fight her. When the girl who spends most of her time in school suspensions calls you a freak, just smile and shrug. When the boy who had sex with his family dog calls you a freak, remember to punch him…
Is masturbation cheating? It’s one of those little questions that shouldn’t matter, and it doesn’t, until it really does. Like, ‘do we have enough oxygen?’ or ‘what happens if you cross a cat with a T-Rex?’ Despite a growing amount of flexibility in our relationships, the majority of our relationships are largely monogamous , and…
Dear Younger Queer Self, By the time you hit 30, you still won’t have everything figured out, but that’s OK. It turns out nobody else has it figured out either. By the time you’re 30, you’re a well seasoned adult who is still none the wiser. Sexuality still isn’t black and white and, unfortunately, labels…
Dear younger self, If I could offer just one piece of advice to help you navigate the road ahead, it would be this… Fuck the box. That’s it. Just fuck the box. Fuck the labels and the dogmas and the -isms that goes with them. Do your best to be the best version of yourself…
While there are many theories about when and where No Panty Day originated, this act of liberation aims to break the taboos surrounding having to wear panties in public. Let’s be real, we’ll take any excuse to get naked , but this day reminds us that it’s for good reason. Here’s how and why you…
Sex is great for just about everything. It can even make your hair glossier. But it can be hard work, and good sex requires at least some level of physicality. Today, we look at five ways exercise can benefit your sex life. Get some. Positive Body Image That moment, when you catch a reflection of…
Being queer is not a choice, but it does involve many choices. Here’s how yours turned out… When you were 9 and demanded “a boy’s haircut”, and everyone made fun of you, including your teachers at school, and you decided not to care, you were right. You went home from a day of being ridiculed,…
The social pressure to conform to conventional standards, and the sense of being different from the rest of the multitude, are sources of considerable amounts of stress for many of us. Whether it’s ethnicity, gender, sexual identity, or any combination of these things, those of us who are categorized us ‘minorities’ often feel that pressure…
It had been weeks since she first told him that she wanted to try something new. Late one night, after having finished making love, she turned to him and asked what he would think of her if she wanted to be tied up. His arousal grew instantly in that moment. In the following weeks, as…
Ok, so you’ve decided to have a threesome. Cool. The first thing I’m going to say is this: your sex life does not define you. It says absolutely nothing about what kind of woman you are or about your values and beliefs. It took me a long time to really understand this, and when my…
There are a lot of questions that arise before thinking about coming out (a metaphor used by the LGBTQ+ community referring to revealing your sexual identity) to your friends, family, workplace, etc. How do I tell them? When? What will they say? Is it even worth it? It’s important to weigh the pros and cons…
Before I put another notch in my lipstick case You better make sure you put me in my place Pat Benatar, Hit Me with Your Best Shot Shawn sat at the faux oak boardroom table in the cool room, waiting for the meeting to start. Evelin sat down across from him. He looked up in…
Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) like Prozac, Zoloft, Lexapro, and many others, are antidepressants that can help treat depression and anxiety. That’s good. They’re used by millions around the world, and they wouldn’t be prescribed if their effects weren’t generally positive. What’s more, the more they are used, the more they are studied, and the…
When Harry and I first met his bicep was the size of my head, and his chest was a forest of black curls my fingers would traverse every night until my eyes turned from open to closed. The forest has thinned out within the last five years and no longer gets nightly visitors. Now my fingers are…
Let’s get straight to it… you should be enjoying (more) sex! Whether it’s for all of the added mental and physical health benefits , pleasure, or even to strengthen your relationship. But for couples who don’t instinctively ‘hop to it’ like rabbits every hour on the hour, (do these people even exist?!) intiating sex can…
May was, once again, Masturbation Month , a whole month of masturbatory glee invented in the 90s by an enviously forward-thinking sex toy store in New York. And yet, despite us having a month of open frivolity (and rampant sex toy marketing), the discussion of masturbation in public is still considered taboo. That’s frustrating for…
Gomenasai! R. and I were in all the same college classes and would drive home down the coast on weekends together. Mostly to see our families, but on a practical level, to pick up care packages and clean clothes that would see us through another week in school. The “studying”, while probably necessary if you’d…
By now you’ve realized that most mainstream lesbian erotic films are quite literally in the business of producing fantasy, not reality. Thus, many women who are interested in exploring same-sex attraction, may feel ill-prepared to actually pursue another woman for fear of ‘not knowing what to do’ in bed. Below, we take a look at…
The Queen was standing robed in the middle of the greatroom, her dark tendrils of hair loose and wild falling near her navel. Tonight was a bloodmoon, and the virgin sacrifice would be made. The virgin was beckoned to approach the Queen. Heart racing, she approached the Queen who smiled. “My child,” she crooned so…
The news was a distant murmur in the background as the coffee pot on the stove began to hiss and tremble as it filled the kitchen with the bitter sweet smell of forgotten escapes. Places visited many lifetimes ago when you could soak up the tastes and smells of exotic destinations which were now just…
When we hear the word introvert, most of us imagine a person with robot-like social skills. Such extremes, however, are relatively rare, which is exactly what makes them extreme. In reality, there’s a continuous scale between absolute introversion and extroversion and almost all of us fall somewhere in between. Nevertheless, the fact that we gravitate…
Let’s face it, that moment, the moment when he enters you and lets out that moan that you’ve been waiting for, that’s ecstasy. We’ve been toying around with eachother for days, getting on with odd jobs, barely having the time to pause and notice our own company. Except for the occasional tantilising glance or a…
A myth is a widely held but false belief. A vibrator is a motorised device used for sexual stimulation. Put them together, and you have a formula for trouble. Quite a lot of people believe some very strange things about sex toys, and when lots of people believe strange things, it rarely ends well. So…
Sabrina’s right hand hovered tentatively over her mouse, the cursor poised to click Broadcast. While she’d always found the idea of showing off for others a huge turn-on, she’d never dared to actually act on this fantasy. She’d come close a few times – and had even registered on an amateur cam site – but…
Why use weighted vaginal beads? As you move, LELO Beads Plus give off a gentle kinetic vibration that helps you gradually achieve stronger and longer orgasms. This set contains 6 different beads so that you can find the best combination for your pleasure, and increase it as you train. The extra soft silicone brings ultimate…
“Now. You’ll stay there until I decide otherwise.” The words echoed in her ears still. He’d sounded calm, almost bored, but she could hear the underlying irritation. She knew she shouldn’t have done it… They’d just been holed up in the house for so long! How could he expect her to behave when they were…
Looking to add something new to solo or partnered play? LYLA 2 and Hula Beads are remote-controlled vibrators by LELO that add a new dimension and internal stimulation to intimacy. How LYLA 2 and Hula Beads Work The LYLA 2 and Hula Beads are rechargeable devices that can be operated via easy-interface remotes. Take pleasure…
I live in a little, old two-story Dutch revival I bought with my boyfriend Chris three years ago. Expensive, so… two roommates. Marcus and Jason, great guys and friends of Chris’ from college. The house is adorable on a tree-lined street in a quiet little neighborhood. It’s super cozy and I love hanging out in…
As I walked up the front steps of our townhouse, my mind wandered to my wife to whom I had been married almost two months. We had avoided sex before getting married but had some very erotic make-out sessions that will stay with me forever. For a while at the beginning of our marriage, it…
Indulge with ultimate relaxation and stress removal with LELO’s newest body massager, Smart Wand 2 . Designed with the best technology and quality, it offers a steady handle with powerful vibrations that offer relieving and erotic pleasure. Smart Wand 2 Specifications Materials: Silicone, PC, ABS Size: 304 x 80 x 60 mm / 11.97 x…