You know what’s universal? As in, common to literally everyone? Well, when it comes to our sexuality, the answer is: absolutely nothing. That said, there are 3 things all of us can do – at any time – that will improve our sex lives. #1: Address Your Stress If you thought I was going to…
Tag Archive for howtofindthespot
Porn and Your Sex Life: Helpful or Harmful?
Since time immemorial, the association between porn and men has been undeniable. Not all porn, and not all men, of course. But even individuals who frown upon it aren’t surprised by the connection. And since it’s more accessible and plentiful than ever before, it’s worth asking about both potential benefits and negative consequences. The right…
What’s So Great About an Orgasm?
What’s so great about an orgasm? If you said that “reaching the pinnacle of ecstasy” is pretty damned great (or some variation on the theme), you’d be correct. Honestly, what more can one ask for? That said, researchers have determined that orgasms are actually great for a bunch of other assorted reasons. According to the…
Is Your Sex Life Merely Chug Chug Chugging Along?
Are you sex-stuck? Yup, I just made that up. But please, feel free – make it a hashtag. You know you wanna. Here’s what I’m really asking: is your sex life yawn-inducing? Same ol’ same ol’? BOR-ING??!! Don’t worry – we’ve got you. If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, sex can be deprioritized for…
Foreplay: Who’s it for? Everyone.
Sometimes, we are so turned on, so turned up, so tuned in that our bodies are not our own. We want be one with another (or, a good vibrator). The need to have sex – but mostly to get off – is primal, and occasionally a quickie is just what the hormones ordered. But please,…
Is Micro-Cheating a Thing?
Have you heard the term “micro-cheating”? Maybe you think it’s just the latest in a long line of fabricated TikTok hashtags designed for easy click bate. But actually, micro-cheating refers to real life behaviors that can wreak havoc on relationships. While there isn’t one reigning definition of micro-cheating, most experts agree with what Psychology Today…
How Does Affection Affect Long-Term Relationships?
When a relationship is new, it’s filled with excitement, warmth and goodwill. Most people – even those who aren’t touchy feely – enjoy some type of physical connection that isn’t necessarily sexual. Holding hands, arms around one another, hugs, playing footsie – all of these behaviors signal “hey – I really want you in my…
How to Arouse a Man with Low Testosterone
Low testosterone levels can cause a multitude of health problems; obesity, heart disease, osteoporosis, brain fog, lethargy, and even depression can all be traced to low testosterone levels . One aspect of this condition that is always challenging to treat, is the accompanying low libido that plagues many men. Some men simply lose their appetite…
Why Can’t I Orgasm? Tips for Women
Hey ladies! Let’s talk about something that’s bugging a lot of you – the big O. Yep, we’re diving into why you might be struggling to hit that high note in the bedroom. This is Gspot101 after all, and we want to help you become a master of your own orgasm. Picture this: You’re all…
Celebrating Pride & Diverse Relationships
Happy Pride! While I’m a firm believer in celebrating the LGBTQ2IA+ community each and every day of the year, I’ll gladly take a month of publicly acknowledging the contributions of queer individuals, of uplifting those who call for equality and kindness and love and for speaking out on behalf of those who can’t because their…
The New Menopause Movement
“Why is it so hard to find information about this?” my clients in peri/menopause ask me with earnest desperation. My usual retort? “Well, consider the fact 100 years ago, the average life expectancy for women was 60. So, the minute someone started to complain of hot flashes or night sweats, funerals were planned”. It’s not…
Finally, an OTC Birth Control Pill
Something happened in March of this year that should have happened a long time ago. The very first over-the-counter birth control pill approved by the FDA was made available without a prescription in pharmacies all across America. “Opill ”, a progestin-only tablet, has been around for decades, but it’s manufacturer, Perrigo, says it took 9…
How Does Toxic Masculinity Harm Men?
What is toxic masculinity? Before we even define the term, we need to know more about the second word than the first, more incendiary one. Masculinity can have lots of different meanings across individuals, families, cultures and societies. Merriam Webster says that masculinity is “the quality or nature of the male sex : the quality, state, or…
Mindfulness Really Can Improve Your Sex Life
Many people are under the impression that mindfulness exercises should be practiced in total silence. And while, sure, that’s ideal in some instances, the beauty of mindfulness is that you can depend on it no matter your environmental circumstances. Any mindfulness instructor will tell you that sometimes it’s more important to be present and grounded…
Is HRT the End-All-Be-All?
Just a few short years ago, anyone with a uterus was hard-pressed to find accurate and evidence-based information on peri/menopause. And then, like pennies from heaven, it was all around us. Social media, talk shows, blogs, newspaper and magazine articles were finally giving us and our lived experiences the respect we deserved. While those of…
Spice It Up: It’s All About the Novelty
It’s inevitable – long-term partners are gonna get bored. Maybe it’s the conversation, your daily routine or the same old weekend plans. At some point, sex might also morph into a yawn-apalooza. Being with a long-term partner can mean a lifetime of love, connectedness, commitment and care. And contrary to popular belief, it can also…
Clitoris VS G-Spot – Are they the same?
Ladies, let’s get real about the rockstars of your pleasure zones – the clitoris and the legendary G-spot . These two areas are absolute showstoppers when it comes to experiencing mind-blowing orgasms. Buckle up because this guide is about to blow your mind (and potentially other things!) First up, the clitoris. This pea-sized powerhouse is…
Does Stress Affect Fertility?
It’s generally accepted by the medical community that chronic stress can lead to wide-ranging physical and behavioral health issues. When we experience any kind of upset, our nervous systems trigger the “fight-flight-freeze” response. That’s a protective function. But when it happens too frequently, and if we aren’t able to manage symptoms, we’re at increased risk…
Erectile Dysfunction in Younger Men Is Common. But Why?
Years ago, I was interviewed for an article on Erectile Dysfunction in young men. It was interesting to talk to a young female reporter who knew absolutely nothing about the subject. She sent me a long list of questions and we had several long discussions on the phone. I thought that this was a great…
How Open Should I Be with my Doctor?
It’s generally accepted among medical providers that the more information a patient shares, the better the care they can provide. There are very strong arguments for accurately answering everything a doctor asks you about your medical history and your current health and well-being. But what if there are details you don’t want to share because…
Should You Stalk Your Ex and Why is it So Addictive?
(Trigger Warning: while the word “stalk” appears in the blog below, please note that it’s being used in the non-menacing vernacular (as a synonym for “search”). The origin of the word means something entirely different – “stalking” in its original form is of serious nature and potentially dangerous. If you believe you are the victim…
So, When Do I Get My Pap Now?
It used to be so simple. You went to see your gynecologist once per year. Your breasts would be checked, you’d have the dreaded pelvic exam that included STI testing and the pap, and then you’d be on your merry way. Phew, check that off the list until next year! But in recent years, things…
What Does Cholesterol Have to do with Sexual Health?
You probably think that hamburgers and ice cream are only bad for your waistline, right? But what if they could actually put your sexual health in jeopardy? Read on to discover the important links between cholesterol and sexual health that all men should know. High Cholesterol Can Cause Erectile Dysfunction Many people see erectile dysfunction…
Authentic- The Word of the Year
Bet you couldn’t avoid “Best Of” lists last month as the year came to a close. Professional critics, influencers, and amateur bloggers alike love to get in on it, giving their seals of approval to a wide swath of items such as books, movies, sports highlights, gifts for hard-to-please Aunt Edna, sex toys (maybe Aunt…
How Trauma Can Affect Your Relationship
If you’ve experienced trauma – whether as a child or an adult – and if you haven’t received the support you need in order to process it thoroughly, relationships can be tricky. Before we jump into the interpersonal, let’s get a sense of what trauma is. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration (SAMHSA)…
Sex in the Media: Explore or Ignore – “Naked Attraction”
You might think this British series is a spoof on other titles with similar names, but you would be wrong. “Naked Attraction ” is actually as literal as literal gets. Here’s the premise: a person looking for love (dressed – at least at first) gives the once-over to six fully nude people, each of whom…
Top 5 Foods for Men’s Peak Sexual Health
If your sexual health isn’t what you’d like it to be, your daily habits could be to blame. Things like tobacco, alcohol, and obesity will all decrease your fertility and negatively affect your sexual functioning. Fortunately, there are many simple things you can add to your lifestyle that will get you back on track toward…
Female A-Spot Meaning
What is the female A-Spot meaning, you ask? Okay, gather around, folks, because we’re about to dive into the saucy secrets of the A-spot! That’s right, this isn’t your grandma’s talk about the birds and the bees. Forget about Atlantis, the real lost city of wonder is the A-spot, and it’s about time we put…
Reduce Stress and Have Sex This Holiday Season
Let’s get right down to what you already know: the holiday season is upon us and that usually means a lot of added stress. The big headline? Stress and sex rarely mix. So, with all the travel and traffic and meal prep and gift lists and décor pressure and family pressure, etc., who can possibly…
Male Anatomy Explained
It’s a common myth that men think about sex every seven seconds. However, a study conducted at Ohio State University suggests the real number is likely closer to 19 times a day. Regardless of the figure, you can guarantee most of those thoughts concern getting busy between the sheets, and not what happens in the body. A…
I Love to Laugh: A Meditation Guide
There are a lot of different types of meditations to choose from and one of them is Laughter Meditation. Laughing comes from deep inside us and there’s always a healthy supply. You may be self-conscious at first but laughing out loud, not texting it (lol), breaks up tension in the body as it relaxes the…
Why Children Need Sex Ed
Parenting would be a lot easier if it were like baking – exact ingredients, precise directions, specific chocolate-to-dough ratio, and voila! The perfect chocolate chip cookie! (Um, I mean, kid). While there’s literally no one specific recipe for raising children, a lot of parents incorporate informed decision-making in their approach. Choosing if, how, and when…
How is Andropause Diagnosed?
Andropause is similar to its female counterpart, menopause , and refers to declining levels of testosterone in aging men. Often referred to as Low T, this condition isn’t as widely understood as menopause, making it difficult for both patients and physicians to recognize. Fortunately, diagnostic tools for measuring testosterone levels are improving, making it easier…
Get That Laptop Off Your Uterus! …Right?
Last night, as I said goodnight to my almost-grown daughters, I noticed that each of their respective laptops rested directly on their respective laps. Hystero-Mamma kicked into high gear. “Girls – why aren’t you using pillows as a barrier between your computers and your ovaries? How many times do we have to review this? Don’t…
Psycho-Emotional Symptoms of Menopause
Search for a numbered list of menopause symptoms on the web and you’ll find that there’s no one definitive inventory. One site says there are 34, another one says 66 – the cataloging varies widely. Since menopause research is relatively new and medical training for treatment is practically non-existent – and because each woman’s experience…
Let’s Get To Know Clomid
The use of Clomid to increase testosterone levels has been in practice for many years. Clomid is the preferred treatment to increase testosterone levels in men who want to maintain fertility options because testosterone replacement products (Testim, Androgel, etc) can decrease sperm production. Over time, the use of testosterone can shut down sperm production by…
Is Porn Cheating?
How do you feel about porn? Now, how do you feel about someone consuming porn while in a committed relationship? Porn is one of those things that can be quite variable depending on the individuals involved, communication between those individuals, past behavior, and current relationship conditions – even the type of porn can be a…
It’s Time to Masturbate More (and Better)
Whether it’s exercising more, eating more sustainably, or saving money, we all want to improve our lives, but it can be a daunting task. Here is the perfect advice if you’re looking to get your life back into gear. Masturbate more. Yup, you heard me. You should be masturbating more! Masturbation, and orgasms, have a…
What Are You Feeling? Name it to Tame it.
In the novel “The Language of Flowers,” by Vanessa Diffenbaugh (2011), the main character’s only connection to herself and the world is through flowers and their meaning. She communicates her thoughts and feelings using flowers, as they give her the distance she needs to feel safe. Each type of flower represents a different emotional state;…
The More You Know: Erection Edition
To say that erections are mysterious is a bit of an understatement. When we were younger, erections seemed to happen at the most random and embarrassing moments! As we got older, an erection became a symbol of virility and deeply connected to our personal identity. For most men, erections are summoned and seem to arise…
Sex in the Media: Are You There, God? I Just Found the Holy Grail!
When I was growing up – before the internet got its greedy little hands on us – we had books and tv and movies and music. If we were lucky, we had parents who had healthy views on sex and welcomed the inevitable questions of burgeoning adolescents. While I was one such fortunate kid (and…
Why Aren’t You Taking Your Medications?
I went to a very progressive medical school, and one of the principles I learned was that it is not good enough to make the diagnosis and prescribe the right medications. You have to remove as many obstacles as possible that may be interfering with your patients taking the drug. The most prevalent obstacles tend…
Your Sex Life After Menopause (Part 1!)
Make no mistake: menopause can impact your sex life. Arousal and orgasm are like a delicate dance between your mind and body. And anything that messes with your libido can also mess with your ability to get in the mood and experience that mind-blowing climax. Understanding the ChangesWhen menopause hits, it can bring along some…
Self-Insemination – A Natural Pregnancy Hack
Have you heard of Self-Insemination? Self-Insemination is a process where a man will ejaculate at home into a cup and use that sample to draw it up with a syringe to insert into his partner. Whenever it comes out, it’s clumpy and goopy. And then basically there are enzymes that break it up. So, he…
Breaking News on TRT
Ever since a small study from 2009 implied testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) increased the incidence of cardiovascular events in patients who received TRT, many men have suffered through their symptoms out of fear of this unfounded side-effect. However, a new study has revealed that those findings are unsubstantiated and in fact, our experience is that…
How To Have The Best O
We realize that it’s one thing to know all about the orgasm, and quite another to experience one. Whether you’ve never had one, or want to improve the ones you already enjoy, we’ve got you covered. Here are some simple steps to start exploration: 1. Above all else, fly solo and explore. Whether you’re looking…
Pride…All Year Long.
If you’re a member or an ally of the queer community, you know that Pride isn’t just one month of celebration. Being proud of who you are as an individual and as a sexual being (or not – that’s the “A” for asexual in LBGTQIA+) is something we strive to experience every day. But since…
Intimacy Shouldn’t Hurt
Intercourse should not hurt. I’m always surprised at how many of my patients have been suffering with painful intercourse of some kind for years. But I’m also so glad they have finally decided to seek treatment. There are many reasons why a woman might be suffering from painful intercourse. For example, lack of lubrication, vaginal…
Infertility Is More Common Than You Think
Once considered a taboo topic, infertility is now a mainstream discussion. This is a good thing, because promoting infertility awareness can help those who are struggling with it in several ways. First, people don’t have to suffer in isolation, and there is great hope in regard to the latest treatment options. And when personal stories…