Sex addiction comes with a plethora of negative connotations and preconceived notions. While essences of truth exist in stereotypes, the sex addict archetype of an international playboy with an ostentatious sports car and an icy aortic valve under his tailored suit is in the minority. We heard about sex addiction from a female perspective, now let’s hear from a guy who throws the “I’m a sex addict” line at women and actually means it.
Due to the candor *Max gifts us with in this interview, he prefers we don’t share much about him in order to shield his identity. What I can say about Max is that he’s a hard-working, well-traveled, nearly thirty, family-oriented gentleman. He opens all my doors and is big on ‘yes ma’am’ and ‘no ma’am.’
Who do you have sex with?
Women. I’ve been part of threesomes with two guys, but our sole focus is on the girl. Our, um… swords, never touch.
What do women think when you tell them about your addiction to sex?
I actually find my female friends are more receptive to its legitimacy than my guy friends. I get met with a lot of “yeah man, we all like sex,” or “does that actually work on the ladies? Maybe I’ll give it a try next time.” It’s taken me some time to actually acknowledge that it goes beyond just craving sex. That actually becomes problematic. To quote Will Ferrell’s character from Blades of Glory, “I’m a sex addict. It’s my cross to bear. It’s a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!” I actually have been to a doctor about this! Sex literally consumes me. I wake up with daily erections, my dreams are all of a sexual nature. It’s not glamorous.
How does your sex addiction manifest in relationships?
Ninety percent nightmare, ten percent awesome experiments. The ten percent is great, because I’m always looking for new toys, creating new scenarios and new roles for my partner and I to try together. I don’t ever let things get boring, sexually, and it’s amazing to unearth aspects of our sexuality that we never knew existed. The ninety percent nightmare—well I’m not proud of this, but I have quite the propensity towards cheating. I hate it, but if my partner and I are separated for whatever reason and an opportunity for a sexual encounter arises, I succumb to the temptation. I feel awful even saying that out loud. I’m not giving myself a pass, but it’s caused a lot of heartbreak on my end, too.
How has it caused you heartbreak?
I really do love, very deeply, and I can see how I could be perceived as a ‘user’ or a womanizer, but nothing could be farther from the truth. I’m a really awkward guy, I don’t consider myself to be particularly good looking, nor am I wealthy in any capacity or drive a fancy car *laughs* just to annihilate that stereotype. It’s truly a compulsion. I never intend to hurt anyone, although I am very aware that I do. My actions hurt me because they hurt those I care about, all because I can’t control myself.
Are there any positives?
I meet some interesting people and have some very interesting experiences. I’m open to what many people might consider an ‘underworld’ of sex. I have some crazy stories you would have to experience to believe.
So while Max’s friends may try—and fail—to use a fraudulent addict diagnosis as a golden ticket to random women’s bedroom tour, Max finds the daily struggle to be very real. But this certainly isn’t the last we’ll hear from Max. We’ve asked nicely and he’s answered our call to give us insider information on some of his favorite kinks and how he discovered them.
As always, don’t believe everything a man tells you—or anyone for that matter. However, go out on a limb and lend an ear, for the facts may be juicier than any fiction.
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