You’ve probably been on a bunch of horrible dates but maybe it’s not about them but you. Follow these dating rules for women, and it won’t be so hard.

Dating is one of my favorite things, yet I also hate it with a passion. I’ve been on enough dates by now to share the rule book on dating and all the dating rules for women you should adhere to for success.

I love meeting a guy for the first time, feeling the chemistry between us, and learning about them. But, I also cannot stand the whole process of asking them those annoying questions I’ve asked hundreds of guys before them, “Where did you go to school?” “Do you have any siblings?”

You know, after a while those questions get a tad repetitive. But, never mind. I know how it feels to be in the dating scene and I empathize with you ladies, ‘cause it ain’t easy. [Read: 12 easy ways to avoid a first date catastrophe]

The 13 dating rules for women you need to follow

Maybe the guy doesn’t call you, maybe he is late for the date. I mean, there are countless things they do. But listen, there are some dating rules for women you need to remember so you keep your own personal standards high and don’t let them dictate where the date goes.

You can control where and how the date will end. It seems nowadays, thanks to Tinder *even though I love Tinder*, dates are now only for a quick lay. Which is fine, but if you look for something more, well, that can be a problem. Maybe you should print this out and stick it in your purse.

#1 You’re not single because no one wants you. Yeah, if he asks you that question, he’s trying to feed his insecurity. Don’t give him the answer he wants, instead, you tell the truth. Don’t say, “Oh, I don’t know why, I guess guys don’t really like me” or whatever lame excuse you come up with. You know exactly why you’re single, you haven’t found anyone worth your time and energy. Tell him, and he’ll know he needs to step up. [Read: The dating advice all women need to follow to transform your love life]

#2 If the date goes badly, don’t give up. After a crappy date, it’s really easy to say, “I’m never going on a date again.” Maybe he texted the whole time or “forgot” his wallet. Well, either way, he’s a jerk. Of course, this leaves a bad taste in your mouth. How could it not? But this doesn’t mean you should give up and spend your weekends watching reruns of Friends. [Read: 10 types of guys to stop dating if you want real love]

#3 He can come to you. Especially on the first couple dates, let him come to you. He should invest some energy and time to get you. If he doesn’t have some sort of plan for your date, say no. Screw that! He can check what movie plays tonight or spend three minutes making a reservation at a restaurant. It’s not hard. If he won’t put in that effort then he’s not that into you. Well, only for something casual.

#4 Don’t give him everything right away. I usually would say, who cares, just go with your feelings, but it’s actually important to not give a guy everything he wants so soon. I know he’s cute and you want to have sex with him, but take it slow. Show him that you respect yourself. This means not giving away the goods right away.

#5 Don’t think about the future. I know you’re on a first date and as a woman, you may be thinking about the future with him already. Which isn’t bad, but don’t jump too far ahead. Take it easy. Instead, just enjoy the date and see how it goes. [Read: 10 pieces of dating advice for women in their 30s]

#6 Know what you want. This is one of those dating rules for women most of us overlook. Before you go on a date, you should know exactly what you’re looking for. Are you looking for something serious? Casual? What type of guy do you want? You don’t need to know the exact guy, but you should know the characteristics of value to you. That way, when you’re on the date, you’re not going to be questioning yourself because you know what you want.

Go in knowing what you want. That way, after the date, you figure out if you want to invest more time with him or not.

#7 Keep it honest. You may end up actually dating this guy, so keep it honest. I mean, why lie anyways? It won’t bring anything special to the date. If you’re upfront and honest right from the beginning, you already form a solid foundation regardless of how it ends.

#8 If you had a good date, call them. If you really had a great date with them and you want to see them again, call them. You don’t have to wait for them to call or text you, nor should you give it three days. If you like them, grab them. Don’t waste time counting the hours until it’s “right” to call them. You’re not in high school, those rules don’t exist in the real world. [Read: Should you call him? The signs to help you make up your mind]

#9 Be emotionally available. If you’re not over your ex then don’t go on a date. I know people probably told you the opposite. If you still cry over him, you’re really not ready. Plus, it’s not fair that you potentially use this guy as a rebound. Be true to yourself and your date. If you’re ready to emotionally invest into someone, by all means, go on dates. [Read: How to be emotionally available and actually find love]

#10 Look at the red flags. First dates are crucial, they’re basically your first intimate encounter with this guy. So, pick up as much information as you can. Yes, look at the positives, but also pay close attention to the negatives.

Maybe his previous relationship didn’t work out because she was “crazy”—red flag, or that “he was working too much”—red flag. Investigate those red flags to get a better picture of this guy. Also, listen to your gut instinct.

#11 Don’t walk into a date with a list of expectations. If you have this list of expectations that you need in a guy then it isn’t going to work. If you have a list saying that he needs to be funny, dark, tall, handsome, well, you’re going to have problems getting everything crossed off. If anything, you only limit yourself from the potential men that could really suit you.

#12 Don’t play too hard to get. Research actually shows playing too hard to get actually works against you. Of course, people love playing a little cat and mouse. However, you don’t need to make them go on a wild goose hunt, this deters them. At some point, you let them know that you’re interested in them and that’s okay! [Read: Is he playing hard to get or is it a sign he’s just not that into you?]

#13 Be yourself. Well, there’s no other way around it. You can pretend to be someone else, it’s fine, but eventually, you must take off your mask or you’ll one day forget to put it on. Just save yourself the hassle of trying to be someone you’re not. Trust me, you’ll find someone who appreciates you as you are.

Now that you know the dating rules for women, the next time you’re on a date, keep them in mind. It’s not easy following the rules, but they help you out in the long run.