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Perfect=free of flaws, mistakes, and shortcomings; An ideal situation. Something perceived as perfect is relative and subject to the eye of the beholder. Therefore, what is perfect for me maybe not be perfect for you. Since something perfect is completely dependent on individual’s opinion, when used to describe a general standard for a relationship, it is completely irrational.

Now that the definition of perfect is established, allow me to reiterate that a perfect relationship does not exist. “Tell me something I don’t know,” you may say to yourself. Well actually, this alone is an important fact to have a clear understanding of. Many women wait all their lives in search for the perfect man. Maybe its society, the media, or our own parents who teach us not to settle for anything less than the best. We confuse settling with not accepting anything other than the perfect. This idea is a setup for multiple failures:

1. It doesn’t allow us to give anyone a chance. The truth is that the higher we raise our standards the fewer the options we have.

2. It drives us to want to change the person we are with. When we do engage in a relationship with a person who has characteristics we don’t like, we feel the need to change them, which can be unsuccessful, unhealthy and insulting. Women have the tendency of looking at the “potential” of a man instead of taking them as they are.

3. It creates false expectations. Once in a relationship many women have the false expectation that they won’t have to deal with problems. So when problems do arise in the relationship, we tend to want to run away, not realizing that the next guy will be as imperfect as the next.

For those of us waiting to meet the perfect person (a man with no flaws, mishaps, shortcomings or failures) prepare to be disillusioned, disappointed, and deceived. Sounds harsh, but even the truth hurts.

Rather than describing a “perfect relationship” based solely on opinion, I want to prepare your mentality for expectations of a lasting relationship. The real subject of matter is how to engage in a long lasting relationship with the person you love.

First and foremost, you must understand that you WILL get hurt. So hope for the best but prepare of the worst. The goal of a relationship should not be to avoid being hurt, but for the relationship to be worth the struggle. People make mistakes that will hurt your feelings. C’est la vie. It happens even in the best relationships with family, best friends, and lovers.

This post is not pessimistic or idealistic, it is realistic. Give someone a chance, accept them for who they are and remove all false expectations. True love is acceptance of someone for who they are, flaws and all. Perfection is nonexistent in a relationship, so be prepared to deal with challenges and frustrations. Lasting relationships require dealing with another’s foolishness sometimes. As long as the good outweighs the bad, keep on pressing towards your goal.

Be blessed, spread love.

Kim