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A study published just last week in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, surveyed about 1,500 adults on their sexual fantasies. The study has received tons of mainstream press, because the reality is, we all have sexual fantasies. With the recent Fifty Shades of Grey ‘craze’ many of us assume that fantasies look like whips, handcuffs and ‘sex rooms, however, this study found that the top sexual fantasies are actually not as scandalous as some may think. Out of the 1,500 adult men and women who were surveyed 92.2% of women and 88.3% of men ranked “feeling romantic emotions during a sexual relationship,” as their number one sexual fantasy.

Here are the top 10 sexual fantasies for both men and women

1. “I like to feel romantic emotions during a sexual relationship”

2. “Atmosphere and location are important in my sexual fantasies”

3. Taking part in oral sex

4. Having sex in an unusual place

5. Having sex in a romantic location

6. Having sex with someone that I know who is not my spouse

7.  Masturbating my partner

8. . Being masturbated by my partner

9. Watching two women male love

10. Making love openly in a public space

There are very few ‘uncommon’ sexual fantasies

Although the more typically thought of S&M sexual fantasies did not make the top ten list, researchers found that there were very few statistically unusual sexual fantasies. Here are some of the statistics from the more ‘uncommon’ sexual fantasies, which you can see, are not so ‘uncommon’ as you may have thought

1. More than half of women (52%) and  (46%) of men said they fantasized about being tied up to obtain sexual pleasure
2. Between 30% and 60% of women described fantasizing about themes associated with submission
3. 10% of men and 3.5% of women fantasized about having a partner ejaculate on them
4. About 1/3 of women and 44% of men fantasized about being filmed or photographed while having sex.

“Our main objective was to specify norms in sexual fantasies, an essential step in defining pathologies,” Christian Joyal, the study’s lead author, said in a statement. “And as we suspected, there are a lot more common fantasies than atypical fantasies. So there is a certain amount of value judgment in the DSM-5.” Although much more research needs to be done, this study has opened up the dialogue on sexual fantasies and helps us all understand that fantasies are common, natural and enjoyed by many.