Knowing how to kiss with tongue is very important if you ever want someone to enjoy your kisses. Here’s how to play tonsil hockey the slobber-free way.

When it comes to making out, there’s really nothing worse than a wet, slobbery kisser. Not only it is a huge turn-off, it’s just gross and embarrassing if you’re the one doing it. Knowing how to kiss with tongue is really important if you’re getting frisky with someone.

You can’t just avoid using tongue when you kiss, either. It can be really sexy and add a level of intimacy you don’t get when you kiss without it. But if you do too much, it’ll basically ensure you’ll never make out with that person again.

Varying your kisses can make you much less boring

Being a boring kisser is awful. Nobody wants to sit and suck face with you if it’s not a good time. There are better ways to spend an afternoon than kissing someone who doesn’t ever do anything different.

If you’re the type to play it safe for fear of your kissing becoming slobbery, stop. So long as you know how to kiss with tongue correctly, you can make your make-out sessions a lot more interesting and exciting, which is exactly what you want. [Read: 15 ways to tongue kiss and arouse your date in seconds]

How to kiss with tongue without all the sloppy mess

If you’re not careful, a really steamy make-out session can be completely ruined just because you wanted to use some tongue. Avoid making mistakes that’ll turn off the other person and instead, make them want you more with these tips.

#1 Don’t go for tongue first. You can’t just go to kiss someone and slip your tongue in their mouth right away. That’s not only a turn-off, it’s also rude. They didn’t indicate that they wanted your tongue in their mouth – only that they wanted to kiss you.

Don’t think a single kiss gives you permission to use tongue. It’s the worst way to tongue kiss and will more than likely make them uncomfortable. Keep your tongue in your mouth until you’ve been making out for a bit. [Read: 19 types of kisses that will gross the other person out]

#2 Get into a rhythm of kissing before adding tongue. It’s much easier to tongue kiss once you’re already in a good rhythm of kissing. Slipping your tongue in can help take the make-out session to the next level.

It’s also a better way to ensure you don’t end up with a sloppy mess. When you’re already in a rhythm, there’s less confusion with your tongues. That means you’re less likely to accidentally lick her lips instead of put your tongue in her mouth.

#3 Make sure it’s a good time for it. You can’t just tongue kiss at any time. You really have to be alone and in an intimate setting. If you try doing this in public after a quick little kiss, it won’t be well received.

Choose a time when you’re both able to get into it. If you try tongue kissing after a quick peck while out to a movie, your partner might get confused and you could end up with a disaster on your hands. [Read: 15 tips for a fun, satisfying make-out session]

#4 Let them make the first tongue move. In order to avoid a situation where they don’t actually want to tongue kiss, let them make the first move for it. Even if they just slip their tongue in a little, it’s an invitation.

If you try doing this first, you could end up with your tongue meeting their teeth. You won’t know if they’re into it and if they close their mouth too early, it could end up in a mess. Let them go first, then you can take over.

#5 Graze their bottom lip with your tongue. If they’re not making any moves but you really want to try tongue kissing them, just slide your tongue along their bottom lip. It’s like you’re testing them. If they open their mouth, it’s likely they want you to tongue kiss them.

If they pull away, however, that’s a clear sign they just want to stick to non-tongue kisses for now. You can even nibble at their bottom lip after grazing it with your tongue to make it even sexier. [Read: 15 types of kisses and the truth behind their smooch]

#6 Pull them closer to you. You don’t have to just focus on your tongue while doing this kind of kissing. Grab them and pull them into you. Not only does this increase the intensity of the kiss, but it’ll also distract the other person.

They won’t be able to tell if the kiss is sloppy if they’re really into it. Plus, they won’t care. Doing this doesn’t necessarily make your kisses any less sloppy, but it just makes it less noticeable if they are.

#7 Take breaks. Mostly, this is just so you can swallow accumulated spit. You don’t have to have your face glued to theirs for the entire time you’re making out. You can pull away and move down to kissing their neck if you want too.

These little breaks allow you to control the saliva so you’re not making a mess of things. Just don’t do them too much or the other person might think you don’t like kissing them. [Read: 15 secrets to make your kiss a memorable one]

#8 Kiss slowly with tongue. Another great way to control spit is to just kiss them slowly. There’s no need to go as fast as you can. Kissing isn’t about how many times you can get your tongue in their mouth. Take it easy and move slowly. This also gives you time to make sure you’re not making a mess.

#9 Read the other person’s reaction. Don’t keep going if someone else is trying to keep their mouth closed. A lot of people feel uncomfortable with tongue kisses too soon but they don’t want to just stop.

So pay attention to their mouth. Is it tight and barely opening? That’s a sign they don’t want to be tongue kissed and it’ll also make your kisses a lot messier. [Read: 12 foolproof kissing tips for a perfect smooch]

#10 Don’t do too much tongue. The phrase “tonsil hockey” is pretty common with tongue kissing and really has to do with the idea of people reaching their tongue so far back in the other person’s mouth that they can almost reach their tonsils.

That’s obviously way too much. Don’t do this. Instead, focus on not doing too much. The kiss will be much cleaner and more pleasurable if you’re not trying to reach the back of their throat with your tongue.

Learning how to kiss with tongue is about learning what’s too much. Avoid using too much tongue and don’t let too much saliva accumulate when kissing. Less is always more with tongue kissing.