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Oh…

Believe me. I know this feeling. You can’t eat, sleep or function throughout your day and the thought of them being intimate with someone else is agonizing.

The good news: you aren’t alone. Others have gone through the exact same feeling you are having and have come out alive. There’s nothing special about your relationship that means you can’t come out of this either. You will not die. Just hang tight and read on.

First, realize that whoever they are seeing, they are more than likely a rebound. A rebound, by definition, is anyone your ex uses to push themselves onto right away after they have broken up with you, to help them heal and move on.

Why? Because they miss you.

Second, even if your ex and this new person are intimate, it’s only because she is trying to get to the same level of intimacy that they had with you; to get over you. Rebounds rarely last, and they are typically temporary for this exact reason.

They aren’t real.

Third, this new person isn’t you. Although they may have certain qualities that your ex enjoys, they won’t be you. If you combine that with the fact that you have moved on and are doing well, they will notice this.

In the meantime, don’t worry about things you cannot control. I know this is easier said than done, so don’t worry I have a game plan below with step by step instructions on how to ease the pain.

Step 1: Pick a thirty minute time slot everyday to allow yourself to think about the unthinkable (your ex being with another guy)

Step 2: If you catch yourself at anytime thinking about your ex and this new person, stop and wait until your time slot has arrived to think about this.

The goal here is to slowly start postponing these thoughts. This may take some time, but time heals all.

Step 3: When the thirty minute slot does arrive, you think about it. You intentionally think about. The idea here is that you think about it so much that you become bored of it. Literally.

Read this line by line word by word:

My ex is with someone else.
My ex is with someone else.
My ex is with someone else.
My ex is with someone else.
My ex is with someone else.
My ex is with someone else.
My ex is with someone else.
My ex is with someone else.
My ex is with someone else.
My ex is with someone else.
My ex is with someone else.

How boring is that?

Or listen to the same song everyday. Is it enjoyable?

Or hang out with the same person everyday. Sure, it’s enjoyable, but variety is much better. The point is that you can force the outcome.

Formula: Redundancy = boredom

Over time you will become bored of these thoughts too and that is the signal that you are beginning to heal. For more tips, advice & interviews like this, please subscribe to stay up to date with the latest posts. Or follow me on twitter.