Here’s three necessary pathways that both women AND men need to get comfortable with to enjoy ecstatic sex and an overflow of orgasmic energy:

• Nudity. Full blown in your face nudity. Nudity can feel so fucking vulnerable, but feeling completely free and at ease in our own skin is essential for great sex. Not just naked with our lovers – also free to be naked in front of friends, sisters, brothers, and our children. If you don’t feel comfortable naked, it’s time to work on the body shame, the self-consciousness … the dislike of your beautiful body. This is a key piece to enjoying ecstatic sex.
• Acceptance that sex isn’t always pretty. It’s raw. It’s messy. It’s loud (like sometimes weirdly loud sounds that are not glam). It’s unpredictable. Accept that real sex is about accepting all that unfolds and choose to make love to people who love and adore you in these messy moments.
• Shame exists. Pretty much all of us carry some shame and guilt around sex. I know I still do (and I’ve done a fuck load of work on this, but there’s still some shame there). Work on the parts of yourself that don’t give you permission to own your desires and own your sexuality. This is a huge piece for many people, so take your time in unfolding where you carry shame and guilt … and commit to letting it go and creating a new story.

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